Corrupt a Wish

Granted, but you have to work hard to get them.

I wish there were no trolls.

Granted, but it turns out trolls are an important part of the food chain.  Trolls mainly feast on kittens.  Without trolls humans are overtaken by stampedes of starving cats.

I wish I was the best chess player on chess.com

Granted, but you become the best by cheating, and you get banned.

I wish for a pizza.

Granted But its maggot flavored

I wish I had an IQ of 42

Granted, but everybody makes fun of you for having such a low IQ

What is your wish almighty one?

I wish for free 999 year diamond membership

Granted but your chess.com profile gets hacked and he or she changes your profile name and password

I wish playing chess payed my bills

Granted, but you have to pay 100 games of chess to pay one bill.

I wish my IQ was 500.

Granted, But you are soon kidnapped by the government, that intends to experiment on your unusual cranium.

I wish I could grow a beard.

Granted, but it grows so long that you trip over it.

I wish I had £999,999,999,999

Granted but shortly after the euro falls and the european government dicides to switch to the U.S. doller.

I wish I had a pony

Granted. But one day you jump on to ride and you break his back now you have a paralyzed pony.

I wish I could go back in time.

Granted, but you can't return to future and now you are stuck with dinosaurs hunting for you and no internet connection.

I wish for being a GM.

Granted you are now a grand mother with 6 grand kids

I wish my pony was not paralyzed

Granted. The cure for pony-paralysis involves eating a substantial amount of your flesh every day.

I wish I could fly.

Granted. But then you violate restricted airspace and are captured by the military and your 6 grand kids are held as well.

I wish I could go forward in time away from the dinosaurs.

Granted when you reach the future you find the dinosaurs descendants high overlord lizardmen you are now enslaved congrats.

I wish for a dime everytime someone sang Happy Birthday to someone for the rest or time.

Granted. But you get it all at once and are buried beneath 5000 tons of dimes.

I wish I had x-ray vision.

Granted but you use to often and cause several beautiful women and one or two bruly ment to get cancer and you are arrested.

I wish I had a box of ice cream that always refilled and never causes brain freezes.