Defining 'Off Topic'

If you post an endgame analysis in the openings section of the forums, you are off topic. If you post an article on the properties of elementary particles according to latest scientific reports in a chess forum, you are off topic. If you post a treatise on the validity of a possible 4th dimensional space-time continuum bending wormhole inspired travel (time-travel) in a radio controlled cars forum, you are off topic. (unless you are talking about a possible test device that could be construed from the makings of a rc car for the purpose of supplanting traditional paradigms related to the honorable (read: eccentric) profession (read: obssesion) of time travel (read: irreversibly upsetting the delicate balance of the space-time continuum).

So in lieu of the astounding sesquipedalionatic nature of the paragraph that justsohappenstoberightabovethisparagraph whichjustsohappenstobebelowtheaformentionedparagraph, what makes a post off topic?

This is an integrally innescapable query that must be answered with immpecable accuracy. The superficial (and sometime dire) implications of misinterpretiation of this central matter of unimmaginal importance are that you could (as in possibility, not nececarily conveying a hight relative probability, but certainly implying a dangerous third door) GET BANNED FROM THE FORUMS!!!!

Naturally, most people (Including my most honorable, sesquipeldalianitic self) will wish to avoid this at all costs. But how can an upright citizen of cybernetia effect this abstinince of all things off topic?

It is only by a careful examination of the logic of the situation that a satisfactory and insurmoutably rigid plan can be developed.

If you post y in a forum about x, it's offtopic.
y+fx=BANNED

If you post xy in a forum about x, it's technically ontopic.
xy+fx=GOOD

If you post x in a forum about x, you are in the clear.
x+x=VERY GOOD

So to be off topic you mustpost somthing that obeys the topic of the forum. Thus if a forum says offtopic, then you can't post something about being off-topic because if you did you would be on topic and the very definition of an offtopic forum is stuff that's off topic.

SYNTAX ERROR
INSUFFICIENT INFORMATION
ERROR, ERROR, ERROR
Crack, sizzle, bang

Computer circuits busted with that one. So comments? 

btw, did I make you look up any words?

Could you be so kind as to gracefully extend the invitation to a party of the first part on the party of the second of a-- wait a minute, Chess.com doesn't have a like button!?? Call the commander in chief! Prepare for a bomber strike! The AntiLikeButtons have infilterated!!

btw #2,  My favorite hobby is making people laugh. So you see, I can't lose, because if you're not laughing by now, you'll be laughing that I do such a bad job getting you to laugh.

Oh and for the record, I don't know what half those scientific words mean, but they sure sound neat. :)

Why isn't anyone posting? Well, besides me, but that doesn't count.

Or has the excess abundance of palabras especial caused the majority (as in 100%) of the people to leave!

It's the hard knock for- um here.
Stead of answers- we, get not.

forum mods, remember me.
forum mods, what's that? who's he?!

It's the hard knock for- um here!!! 

Impergeftly remembered original:

It's the hard knock life, for us.
Stead of kisses, we, get kicked.

Santa claus, remember me.
Santa claus, what's that? who's he?!

It's the hard knock life for us!!! 

It leaves out a lot of parts, but oh well

E=mc^2

E = No Posts
m = Sadness
c = quoting movies!

But something, was missing, I never, quite knew,
That something, was someone, but who? but who!??

The world was, my oyster, but where was, the pearl?
Who knew I would find it, in one little girl?

Hey, can you tell I like Annie?

While we scrounge 3 or 4 bucks, she gets-
Warbucks!

More quotes:

And if tommorrow I'm an apple seller too,
I don't need anything but you! 

Well I'm a bit confused here at this point to be sure. For example we could talk about the Off-Topic forum which can get way out there sometimes. Then again there are those threads in other forums that are not off-topic. However if the thread is off-topic and yet it is in the Off-Topic forum is it then on-topic ? Well I'm more confused now, mind you I did have a glass of Beer earlier  lol. 

You make perfect sense and I think you described it exactly as I understand it.

How can I hope to make you understand, why I post, what I post?
Why must I post 8 long replies, far from the OP post.
- Fiddler on the Roof 

Couldn't help including a quote in there. :)

And if tommorrow I'm an apple seller too,
I don't need anything but posts! - Annie 

Is anyone even following this illustrious unparrelled non-comital psychologicly philosophical and random topic?

For those of you who are confused, here it is in a nutshell:

In the off-topic forum it's on-topic if it's off-topic because if it was on-topic it would be off-topic. So this thread is off-topic because it's on-topic.

Yes it seems that you have confused a lot of people with this thread for some reason. Even the " Jolly Jokers " are not putting up any humorous posts  lol.

Well, maybe that's good, because if no-one understands it, no-one can say i'm off-topic! 

1.0 x 10^2 views! yes!!

Another thing that confuses me is the fact that there are some Chess threads here in the Off Topic forum. Therefore these threads are Off Topic in the Off Topic forum and need a new forum entitled " Off-Off Topic ", I think that is perfectly clear  lol.  

Perfectly. But I think that the Romulans of c.c would think that redundant. (The Romulans were originally from Vulcan but refused to take part in the controling of emotion and later became known as a very war-like group.