"Hello! TechniGiant support line!"

"Yes, hello, I'm having a bit of trouble..."

"...we greatly value your call. Current wait time is less than 30 minutes. Thank you for calling TechniGiant!"

[...paint dries...]

"Hello. This is Darren."

"Yeah. Hi, Darren. I'm having a bit of trouble..."

"Could you give me your full name please, and spell it?"

"Um, yes, um... Kant K-A-N-T Was W-A-S Wrong W-R-O-N-G. You see, I..."

"And whudda 'bout your account number?"

"Account number?"

"[... sigh ...] Your account number, ma'am."

"I'm not a ma'am; I'm a sir. But I didn't know I had an account number."

"[... heavy sigh ...] Do you know your address, then?"

"Yes, of course I know my address. It's 123 Main Street."

"Can you spell that, please?"

"Spell WHAT? 123?"

"Your street."

"You mean spell 'main'"

"Yeah, is it like a lion's mane?"

"Sure, I don't care. I'm calling because I can't..."

"Sorry, ma'am or sir, we don't have that address on file."

"The hell? Are you sitting on a loaded phaser?"

"Pardon me?"

"I just need some help."

"Ticket number?"

"I'm trying to OPEN A TICKET! Do you hear me!"

"You should have pressed 4"

"I DID PRESS FRIGGING 4!"

"You must have pressed 6. They're side by side."

"WHAT!? No they're not."

"What kind of phone do you have, sir or ma'am."

"KIND OF PHONE!? ARE YOU ON DRUGS!? Let me speak to your supervisor, please."

"She's on break, but I can put you into her voicemail."

"HOLY JESUS, DO THEY ACTUALLY PAY YOU? GOD, THAT MEANS I PAY YOU."

"Your voice is rising, sir or ma'am."

"DAMN RIGHT IT IS! I'M DEALING WITH AN IDIOT WHO DOESN'T CARE THAT I EXIST!"

[.... long pause ...]

"Have you tried clearing your cache?"

"Yeah. And you sure cleared mine: that's C-A-S-H. Have fun with your menial dirt job, you jerk!"

[... later that day at the phone store ...]

"Yeah, I accidentally dropped it against the ceiling, and the glass broke."

I've been through it quite a lot lately.