WOW!
Edit........... sorry.............wow. 
How To Be A Good Troll by ilikewindmills - Free Sample!
Sort:
This might be too advanced for some of the wannabes...
P.S.
For more information on Panko Smoobachuk: https://www.chess.com/forum/view/fun-with-chess/worlds-lowest-rated-grandmaster
I loved this 5 star rating. A+++++++ (Don't worry, the a-pawn is not in check 
) Very well done I would love to see the edited version I loved this book so much made me laugh taught me how to be a good troll thank you so much Yay I like this a lot, can I be your editor can you please make biography I will do a bibliography on this book it was so good may I interview you?
No
Bravo.
TypicalChessPlayer1 wrote:
No
I'm not talking to you.
kingofshedinjas wrote:
This might be too advanced for some of the wannabes...
P.S.
For more information on Panko Smoobachuk: https://www.chess.com/forum/view/fun-with-chess/worlds-lowest-rated-grandmaster
i see caps
gg
dw KoS, this is just a sample, we start easy. This is mostly troll secondary school stuff.
Lol
Gg
incorrectname wrote:
kingofshedinjas wrote:
This might be too advanced for some of the wannabes...
P.S.
For more information on Panko Smoobachuk: https://www.chess.com/forum/view/fun-with-chess/worlds-lowest-rated-grandmaster
i see caps
Not caps. That's shift. This is caps. JFHFHFHFHFHFH just for example. That's spamming in caps.
shift caps
size 18pt
No thank you
quote from BrownStain Pawn .... when in doubt pull it out.
Gg. PS:Did u really play this game vs a GM?
yes
ilikewindmills wrote:
HOW
TO
BE
A
GOOD
TROLL
Created by your favourite person ever - ilikewindmills!
Official Textbook of the chess.com trolling curriculum
Introduction
Trolling is an art form, superior to all other art forms. It's common to find trolling ‘repetitive’ or ‘annoying’, and if you do it's usually because of one of the following reasons:
they're 3 years old
they’re 4 years old
OR
they're 5 years old
Before we start, allow me to introduce myself. My name is ilikewindmills and I am one of the most well known trolls on chess.com. I have been referred to as the chief of trolling and have a slightly more annoying clone named ilovewingbills.
i worship pdela
RIP PDELA
I will teach you everything you need to know about trolling in the chess.com forums (or elsewhere) in this simple guide.
Step 1 - The Rules of a Troll.
A troll will not share
A troll will not care
A troll will not follow rules. (P.S. these are guidelines, not rules).
A troll will not explain
A troll will not elaborate.
A troll will never not give up
a troll will be consistent
A TROLL WILL NEVER EVER WRITE IN ALL CAPS
A troll must never add an exclamation mark to the end of every sentence! It gets annoying very quickly! Can you see that! I mean it's okay the first few times but 3 sentences later! Wow! How annoying! Sometimes we all wish it would stop! Yeah! I'm talking to you JD!
Underlining words is not cool. It's just borderline annoying.
Bold words may be used for effect but they get annoying too. Sorry kayak.
TROLL STUDY - Chess Game
At my most recent tournament, the Magnuts Carleson memorial tournament at East Macadamia, I played a few interesting games. This first one was against the only GM to show up, local resident Panko Smoobachuk.
ilikewindmills - Panko Smoobachuk
Magnuts Carleson Memorial Open.
Rook Fettucine Opening, Delayed Yifan Attack.
1.g3!!
This is often the first move in the Rook Fettucine opening, which after 10 minutes of intense study was what I decided to play.
1...Nf6??
If you don't know the story of Panko Smoobachuk, what basically happened was he poked a screwdriver into a toaster.
2.Nf3!!
Excellent move by me. Preparing to let the rook go to g1 then g2.
2...d5??
Like I said, this Panko guy is a patzer. Was once a GM but bad now.
What good is a pawn in the centre? It's just going to get eaten?
3.Bh3!!
This is the mainline usually.
3.Rg1 then 4.Rg2 would send us into the Accelerated Variation, but that's not what I want right now.
3...g5!!
A very smart move from Panko! Maybe he's still got a little GM in him! 3...g5 sends us into a Delayed Yifan position (with Yifan Attack being 1...g5, but you knew that).
4.g4
I declined the attack at the expense of a tempo. Only now do i realise this was a bad move. Better was Rg1.
4.Nfd7
Obviously preparing 5...f6 in the true Yifan Attack spirit.
5.Rg1
I honestly don't care about your Yifan Attack plans right now.
5...f6!!!
Key move of the standard Yifan Attack.
6.Rg2
Keep ‘developing’, see if I care.
6...a5!!!
Yeah! Pushing a pawn to the edge! Good move from Panko!
7.Kf1
The king is safest behind the fettuccine.
7...a4!!!
Yeah! Keep pushing them pawns.
Quote from BronsteinPawn:
When in doubt, push a pawn.
8.b4!
I wanna push pawns too!
Quote from BronsteinPawn:
When in doubt, push a pawn.
At this point in the game, Panko made an illegal move trying to take a pawn on b3 with the move 8...axb3??? I told him that was impossible and he ranted about pasta then walked up to the arbiter, and while he was gone I put 5 queens next to his king. Apparently the arbiters didn't know how to play chess so I won!
ok so apparently you can't share pdf files so this is the best i can do... full version comes out later this year and the pictures and fonts don't show up here bc google is sucky. hope you enjoyed anyway!
HOW
TO
BE
A
GOOD
TROLL
Created by your favourite person ever - ilikewindmills!
Official Textbook of the chess.com trolling curriculum
Introduction
Trolling is an art form, superior to all other art forms. It's common to find trolling ‘repetitive’ or ‘annoying’, and if you do it's usually because of one of the following reasons:
they're 3 years old
they’re 4 years old
OR
they're 5 years old
Before we start, allow me to introduce myself. My name is ilikewindmills and I am one of the most well known trolls on chess.com. I have been referred to as the chief of trolling and have a slightly more annoying clone named ilovewingbills.
i worship pdela
RIP PDELA
I will teach you everything you need to know about trolling in the chess.com forums (or elsewhere) in this simple guide.
Step 1 - The Rules of a Troll.
A troll will not share
A troll will not care
A troll will not follow rules. (P.S. these are guidelines, not rules).
A troll will not explain
A troll will not elaborate.
A troll will never not give up
a troll will be consistent
A TROLL WILL NEVER EVER WRITE IN ALL CAPS
A troll must never add an exclamation mark to the end of every sentence! It gets annoying very quickly! Can you see that! I mean it's okay the first few times but 3 sentences later! Wow! How annoying! Sometimes we all wish it would stop! Yeah! I'm talking to you JD!
Underlining words is not cool. It's just borderline annoying.
Bold words may be used for effect but they get annoying too. Sorry kayak.
TROLL STUDY - Chess Game
At my most recent tournament, the Magnuts Carleson memorial tournament at East Macadamia, I played a few interesting games. This first one was against the only GM to show up, local resident Panko Smoobachuk.
ilikewindmills - Panko Smoobachuk
Magnuts Carleson Memorial Open.
Rook Fettucine Opening, Delayed Yifan Attack.
1.g3!!
This is often the first move in the Rook Fettucine opening, which after 10 minutes of intense study was what I decided to play.
1...Nf6??
If you don't know the story of Panko Smoobachuk, what basically happened was he poked a screwdriver into a toaster.
2.Nf3!!
Excellent move by me. Preparing to let the rook go to g1 then g2.
2...d5??
Like I said, this Panko guy is a patzer. Was once a GM but bad now.
What good is a pawn in the centre? It's just going to get eaten?
3.Bh3!!
This is the mainline usually.
3.Rg1 then 4.Rg2 would send us into the Accelerated Variation, but that's not what I want right now.
3...g5!!
A very smart move from Panko! Maybe he's still got a little GM in him! 3...g5 sends us into a Delayed Yifan position (with Yifan Attack being 1...g5, but you knew that).
4.g4
I declined the attack at the expense of a tempo. Only now do i realise this was a bad move. Better was Rg1.
4.Nfd7
Obviously preparing 5...f6 in the true Yifan Attack spirit.
5.Rg1
I honestly don't care about your Yifan Attack plans right now.
5...f6!!!
Key move of the standard Yifan Attack.
6.Rg2
Keep ‘developing’, see if I care.
6...a5!!!
Yeah! Pushing a pawn to the edge! Good move from Panko!
7.Kf1
The king is safest behind the fettuccine.
7...a4!!!
Yeah! Keep pushing them pawns.
Quote from BronsteinPawn:
When in doubt, push a pawn.
8.b4!
I wanna push pawns too!
Quote from BronsteinPawn:
When in doubt, push a pawn.
At this point in the game, Panko made an illegal move trying to take a pawn on b3 with the move 8...axb3??? I told him that was impossible and he ranted about pasta then walked up to the arbiter, and while he was gone I put 5 queens next to his king. Apparently the arbiters didn't know how to play chess so I won!
ok so apparently you can't share pdf files so this is the best i can do... full version comes out later this year and the pictures and fonts don't show up here bc google is sucky. hope you enjoyed anyway!
Stockfish is confused.
HOW
TO
BE
A
GOOD
TROLL
Created by your favourite person ever - ilikewindmills!
Official Textbook of the chess.com trolling curriculum
Introduction
Trolling is an art form, superior to all other art forms. It's common to find trolling ‘repetitive’ or ‘annoying’, and if you do it's usually because of one of the following reasons:
they're 3 years old
they’re 4 years old
OR
they're 5 years old
Before we start, allow me to introduce myself. My name is ilikewindmills and I am one of the most well known trolls on chess.com. I have been referred to as the chief of trolling and have a slightly more annoying clone named ilovewingbills.
i worship pdela
RIP PDELA
I will teach you everything you need to know about trolling in the chess.com forums (or elsewhere) in this simple guide.
Step 1 - The Rules of a Troll.
A troll will not share
A troll will not care
A troll will not follow rules. (P.S. these are guidelines, not rules).
A troll will not explain
A troll will not elaborate.
A troll will never not give up
a troll will be consistent
A TROLL WILL NEVER EVER WRITE IN ALL CAPS
A troll must never add an exclamation mark to the end of every sentence! It gets annoying very quickly! Can you see that! I mean it's okay the first few times but 3 sentences later! Wow! How annoying! Sometimes we all wish it would stop! Yeah! I'm talking to you JD!
Underlining words is not cool. It's just borderline annoying.
Bold words may be used for effect but they get annoying too. Sorry kayak.
TROLL STUDY - Chess Game
At my most recent tournament, the Magnuts Carleson memorial tournament at East Macadamia, I played a few interesting games. This first one was against the only GM to show up, local resident Panko Smoobachuk.
ilikewindmills - Panko Smoobachuk
Magnuts Carleson Memorial Open.
Rook Fettucine Opening, Delayed Yifan Attack.
1.g3!!
This is often the first move in the Rook Fettucine opening, which after 10 minutes of intense study was what I decided to play.
1...Nf6??
If you don't know the story of Panko Smoobachuk, what basically happened was he poked a screwdriver into a toaster.
2.Nf3!!
Excellent move by me. Preparing to let the rook go to g1 then g2.
2...d5??
Like I said, this Panko guy is a patzer. Was once a GM but bad now.
What good is a pawn in the centre? It's just going to get eaten?
3.Bh3!!
This is the mainline usually.
3.Rg1 then 4.Rg2 would send us into the Accelerated Variation, but that's not what I want right now.
3...g5!!
A very smart move from Panko! Maybe he's still got a little GM in him! 3...g5 sends us into a Delayed Yifan position (with Yifan Attack being 1...g5, but you knew that).
4.g4
I declined the attack at the expense of a tempo. Only now do i realise this was a bad move. Better was Rg1.
4.Nfd7
Obviously preparing 5...f6 in the true Yifan Attack spirit.
5.Rg1
I honestly don't care about your Yifan Attack plans right now.
5...f6!!!
Key move of the standard Yifan Attack.
6.Rg2
Keep ‘developing’, see if I care.
6...a5!!!
Yeah! Pushing a pawn to the edge! Good move from Panko!
7.Kf1
The king is safest behind the fettuccine.
7...a4!!!
Yeah! Keep pushing them pawns.
Quote from BronsteinPawn:
When in doubt, push a pawn.
8.b4!
I wanna push pawns too!
Quote from BronsteinPawn:
When in doubt, push a pawn.
At this point in the game, Panko made an illegal move trying to take a pawn on b3 with the move 8...axb3??? I told him that was impossible and he ranted about pasta then walked up to the arbiter, and while he was gone I put 5 queens next to his king. Apparently the arbiters didn't know how to play chess so I won!
ok so apparently you can't share pdf files so this is the best i can do... full version comes out later this year and the pictures and fonts don't show up here bc google is sucky. hope you enjoyed anyway!