is arguing necessary, and how do you resolve them?

I’ve been seeing quite a bit of arguing on otf that have been tearing the community apart. Some of them have been minor, while some involve good friends befriending each other over them. I was thinking about this and decided to make this thread. Before you guys answer the title, I’d like to share my thoughts on if arguing is necessary, and how we can resolve them if needed. First, is arguing always necessary? This is a hard question to answer, and it definitely needs context and very situational. For me, an argument between another member and I isn’t ever necessary, because I prefer to do my best to be kind to members and be friends with people I will likely see online a lot. This being said, I think there are a few situations where an argument is needed. But another question is whether to join in on an argument. First, I’ll talk about when you think someone has started arguing with you. While in some cases it can be best to stand up for yourself, I would say that staying out of it is usually best. Yes, I know, this isn’t for all cases, and in some, you should stand up for yourself. If someone says something you disagree with, I find that it’s best to make a joke about it and move on and ignore this person. When a bigger argument arises, you can stand up for yourself, but try to refrain from being too rude and inconsiderate. But what about when a friend of yours is fighting with someone else? Usually, I would say that you can stand up for your friend in this situation. When I say this, I should mention that you should not gang up on the other person, and instead should give them more context of what’s going on, and try to convince them of something else. Sometimes, it can be best to stay out of it, but if you can help resolve the conflict, it’s always worth a shot. If you realize they are ignoring your posts and just replying to each other, I would step away. But what if 2 of your good friends are fighting with each other? This is the time where I would say to almost always stay out it. Choosing a side can imply that you are closer to another person, and ruin your relationship with the other friend. And obviously, if you don’t the 2 people arguing, stay out of it, no matter what. Especially if you don’t know the context of what’s happening and why they’re arguing. Overall, I would say that you can argue with people, as long as you are fully aware of the context of the situation, and aren’t arguing for no reason. I usually do my best to stay out of, but not always. It’s all situational, for sure.




Now, for the second part of post. If you have been in an argument with a friend of yours, how can you resolve it? I would say that the easiest and most effective method of resolving conflict is to simply apologize. Sometimes you feel like you don’t have to, which is sometimes very true. However, whether you think they deserve an apology or not, it’s always best to do so. I think that doing this shows your friend that you care, and shows maturity that you are willing to step forward and own your mistakes, even if you made none. Either that, or you could say “I don’t owe them an apology, they should apologize to me” and get no where. If you want to maintain a friendship with this person, it’s honestly best to apologize, in my opinion.



That’s it! Those are my thoughts on the subject, and if you agree or disagree, please post your thoughts here. Thanks so much for reading my thread, and I hope a good discussion breaks out and people have interest in this thread. If you say “ I’m not reading all of that” you can remain illiterate. Thank you, and please share your thoughts and enjoy the thread!

If you really expect OTF to read all of this…. Then you’re mad

I don’t. I expect for intelligent and literate people to read and respond to the post, instead of young children.

Good point. I couldn't read it all it cuts off, but from what I read that's very wise

Some people are so cocky that they need to be taught a lesson

It’s all on the website

True, and I’m sorry for making it so long. You can go to the website if you’d like to read the whole thing.

Ok thanks, I probably won't though cause my internet sucks

No worries.

The immature people on here take a disagreement about a random topic as a personal attack and it's lame and boring.

Yes, exactly. I don’t see why people take disagreements so personally and decide to say something bad about them out of “self defense”.

Couldn't read the whole part, but from what I read, I agree with your statement

Yeah, it cuts off if you’re on the app, like me. Sorry about that. You can use the website if you want to read it or not, but it’s up to you.

You have a point here.

#15 might check later if I get on computer today

Although I’d argue a good friendly debate is fine. When it reaches personal insults or lies about the persons character, you’ve gone too far

I didnt read the whole article.

I also think there are times when it's for the greater good to be contrarian instead of remaining quiet towards distasteful things. But anyone who has seen my posts could have guessed that about me.

Absolutely. This thread was talking about the unnecessary arguments. I do agree that peaceful arguments with a controversial topic and different opinions are fine.

Get rid of your own ego (do it for a purpose other than defending yourself), have principles and consistency, and all your arguments are justified.