Jokes Eternity

Very relatable XD

Roses are flying, violets are flying, sugar is flying, somebody turn the antigravity thing off.

lol

lol

lol

[Us-Mexico border]

Cop: Papers?

Guy: Scissors

Cop: fuck! You're cleared. Go through

Guy; Gracias

lol

This has been revived

*going to party*

Girl's Dad- I want her home before Midnight

Me- But you already own her home

G'sD- *to her* if you dont sleep with him, i will

Don't get it

Because the dad wants her to be home before midnight, but the way the other person interpreted it is he wants to own her home by midnight. So the dad was impressed

Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody tells a lie.
The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, “So, you were at school today, right?”
Son: “Yeah.”
Detector: “Beep.“
Son: “OK, OK, I was at the movies.”
Detector: “Beep.”
Son: “Alright, I went for a beer with my friends.”
Father: “What?! At your age, I wouldn’t touch alcohol!“
Detector: “Beep.”
Mother laughs: “Ha! He really is your son!”
Detector: “Beep.”

Oooooooooooh