Jokes Eternity

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CatsWithWings00

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, "What's the word on the street?" 

willitrhyme

heard that one a while back:

No matter how good-natured and kind the children of your country are, but German children are Kinder. 😗

JBC10
Keep it up
JBC10
Ok
winston_weng

lol

CatsWithWings00

My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down. 

CatsWithWings00

My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange" I said: "No it doesn't"

CatsWithWings00

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.

willitrhyme

"For our tenth anniversary, I bought my wife a huge diamond ring."

"That's beautiful! What did she say to you when you presented it to her?"

"Not a single word, for the next two weeks. That was the agreement."

willitrhyme

What's gooey, sticky and smells like red paint?

Blue paint. 😐

Mi_Amigo

LucasInn
selkea wrote:

 

lolololol

LucasInn
FM_Checkmate wrote:

At a first date:
He: “I work with animals every day!”
She: “Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?”
He: “I’m a butcher.”

 

And it's funny how your avatar is a cat...

ericthatwho

Two guy's walking on sidewalk they see a dog licking himself.

The first says I wish I could do that.

The second says don't you think you should ask him first!

BISHOP_e3

A woman had a dog that kept humping her leg when company was around.

She took the dog to the vet hoping for a solution.

The vet offered to have her pet  work with a dog  trainer so that it's behavior would be modified.

The woman replied -------------------- "Actually, I was wondering if you could just clip his nails" 

Magnetta123

Lol

HarryMaguire-05

yep

jumphrope
haha, exactly, just as random as a loose rubber ducky
BISHOP_e3

GM_chess_player
winston_weng wrote:

A guy asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his pe**s. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that.
He replies, "Three reasons: I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and $100 seems to be the only thing my wife will blow these days."

 

(I DID NOT MAKE UP THIS JOKE, I FOUND IT ONLINE SO DON'T GET ANY THOUGHTS)

Oh gosh...