Limericks/Rhymes....keep it clean, if possible :)

I'll give you a nickel,

If you cut off your pickle.

Does nickels even exist anymore? Regardless, both of you need to offer higher sums or no one will be interested (possible exceptions exist, but those would also do it for free).

I'll give you a pound, if you don't make a sound. 

“There was an Old Man with a beard

Who said, 'It is just as I feared!

Two Owls and a Hen,

Four Larks and a Wren,

Have all built their nests in my beard!’”

“There was an old man from Peru

Who dreamt he was eating his shoe.

He awoke in a fright

In the middle of the night

And found it was perfectly true.”

Here's one I found that I thought was pretty funny

There was a young lady named Bright
who traveled much faster than light.
She set out one day
in a relative way,
and came back the previous night.

There once was an artist named Saint, 
Who swallowed some samples of paint. 
All shades of the spectrum 
Flowed out of his rectum 
With a colourful lack of restraint. 

lol, comment like that make me wish we had some sort of "like" button here

I wish I could claim that as my own, but alas, I got it from the internet.

Ah well, it's still pretty funny!

I just reported kayak21 to famous mod MortalWombat for comment #73 

Thanks Panda, you're a friend I can rely on.

What.....like this one?

I have plenty more where that came from.

Actually, the trams in Amsterdam were pretty good, as long as you stay out of their way.

No, they're cheap in Amsterdam and they run on time. If you miss one you only wait a few minutes for the next one.

Not always. They have strikes on the tubes because the poor sods only earn 49k basic, which is double what a person with a medical degree gets when they start their 40 hour week in the nhs.

I like turtles

I like the color purple

I chase squirrels

I like circles

We'll have plenty of incoming workers from abroad soon to drive the trains and they'll be happy to do the job for half of what the drivers are getting now. Oooops.....STRIKE!  haha :)