Living in this pool floatie is making me crazy.

It's been a fair while since I've made a thread, but I have an excuse. I've been too busy daydreaming about Ari and playing pool games with my fans. Let me explain:

3 years ago today, I woke up in the morning to an extremely bright sunrise in a pool floatie, floating around the small rectangular pool. Confused, I reached into my pocket, found my phone, opened it, and saw a message from an unknown number saying, “If you leave this POOL, you will be unable to listen to Ariana Grande, or ever see her again.” Very confused, I tried to wake myself up from this terrible dream. But after pinching myself uncontrollably and slapping my face hundreds of times, I realized that this was a reality. I sat and pondered for a while, letting this set in. I realized that I had a decision to make. I could leave this pool, never see or listen to Ari again, or I could live in this very pool float for the rest of my life. But after just some thought, I knew that I would rather live here than never see Ari again. Fortunately, though, Ari lived a few hours from the pool and decided to move to a modest house close by to help me and get whatever I needed. This very pool has become a tourist attraction in LA, where thousands of MEN and women stop by every day to see what I’m up to. I have so much fame and popularity, but being in this pool for 3 years straight has taken a toll on my mental health.

Every day, I wake up to the sunrise early in the morning, grab my phone from my pocket, and check my notifications. I call for the private chef that Ari has ordered for me to make me some kind of breakfast, usually pancakes and scrambled eggs. I have 3 hours until my queen Ari wakes up, so I have to find entertainment until she finishes with her swexy sleep. I paddle my arms and swim slow laps around the pool for thirty minutes or so. People start to arrive, and I say hello to my audience as they stare in awe at me from outside of the gate. I feel like I have to do something interesting for the audience, so I begin throwing a tennis ball up to myself and catching it. People who visit this pool always manage to throw interesting items into the pool every day for me to enjoy, and I can use them however I please. I get a lot of love letters in the form of paper airplanes, but they always seem to throw it into the water where it dissolves slowly. Finally, after hours of having a fair bit of fun with my fans, I get a text from Ari! She tells me she’s on her way and that she can’t wait to see me with a very cringe heart emoji at the end. She said that she had a surprise like usual, so I expected her to bring something for me. When she arrives, she brings me a pillow for my back, a pool toy, or maybe a cheesecake! Not only that, she also brings her singing voice, which is the greatest gift of all. The audience roars and she walks in, and I throw my arms around her for a nice hug. For most of the day, we spend our time together in the pool doing whatever we like to. We talk about our deep and undying love for each other, and we also throw a skipping ball across the pool back and forth. I make sure to paint her toes occasionally, and she makes sure that I look presentable. Oh, the irony. At around 6:00, she has to go work on her album and catch up on everything. She kisses me goodbye and says that she’ll see me tomorrow. After that, I decided to finally get to work on my schoolwork. After working vigorously on my homework for hours, I accidentally drop it into the pool. Oops! The audience leaves at around 9:00, leaving me all alone. I decided to see what the chess.com off-topic forums look like and came back to many messages and 5000 missed posts from OTFDAN. I talk to the community for about an hour and a half before FaceTiming Ari for 20 minutes before saying goodnight. She sings me one of her songs as a lullaby, and I say goodnight once more. I stare up at the BLACK sky, excited to see her again. I have one last slice of cheesecake before sleeping. It’s harder than you think to sleep on a pool floatie without getting wet and being comfortable.

But Ari has been busy lately. She’s been away for many months working on Wicked and her new album, along with other things that celebrities have to do. I haven’t seen her in over two weeks in person, and I’m going crazy floating around in this pool all day. I only get to FaceTime her a select few times a day, and I haven’t heard a lullaby from her in weeks, causing me to get less sleep. I’m somehow tired of eating PIZZA and cheesecake every single day, but I can’t change it up since I’ve been doing the same for three years. All I do is emotionlessly listen to Ari and scroll through OTF, hoping for something interesting. I play games of catch with my audience and other fun games. I see some of the same people every single day and carry on fun conversations with them. But I can’t help but go a little crazy by being by myself for so long, floating around the same pool every single day. I’m tired of the smell of the baby pool where I do my business every day, and I’ve managed to have PANCAKED my pool floatie to the point where it’s about to sink into the pool. Ari says she’s coming back very soon, and I can’t wait. There are always some sacrifices that come with being in such a great relationship, and if I have to be in this pool for eternity, I’ll keep floating through life. I’m just so lucky that I get to be with my eternal sunshine sweetener every day despite the difficult circumstances. If you’re ever looking to visit me, I’m sure you could find tickets online. I’m so happy that I can vent my deep problems with you guys and have your full support. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Thank u, next!

If you stay there you wont be able to pay for WiFi and never listen to Ari forever

Just find a way to take out all the water, and then build an house in the pool

How about Frontflips? (Asking the really important questions)