My chess story

When I got back from shopping today, I had to go cut the grass. It was very cold, and actually reminded me of when I went to my first tourney when I was walking back to the car it was just as cold. So I figure it now is as good as any time to tell it. This is how I remember everything. All tourney games are G60 D5

 Some things may be greatly over exaggerated, or did not happen, it should be obvious which things those are.

When I was 5 or 6 my uncle got me a Super Mario chess set as my birthday gift and taught me how to play. I was decent, but nothing special. Over the years my dad noticed I liked playing chess so he would play with me, and always beat me (ok maybe I beat him 1/20 games). One time (when I was 8-10 I don't remember when) my mom took me to our local chess club (at a Starbucks). I played a game with a kid, (lol I beat him) and left. I never went back to that Starbucks to play chess. Fast forward to a summer camp for boy scouts, and I decided to take the chess merit badge. The counselor taught us how to play and we just played with each other, we did not learn openings or tactics. I played against this one guy (Bob) because he could actually give me a challenge, no one else could (that went both ways). One requirement to get the merit badge was to play in a chess tourney. So the camp hosted a tourney at the end of the week. The style was everyone plays against each other (no time limits) and if you beat your opponent you go find someone else to play. If you lose you are eliminated and you can watch the games or go back to your campsite. There was about 35 people playing (give or take around 5 people). I won 16 games, and Bob won 9. We played the last tournament game, but there was a catch: we had a minute for each move. This greatly favored me, as Bob was better than me but needed time to think, whereas I could just blitz out moves and only be slightly worse than him. We got into a drawish endgame and he flagged. I won the tourney, and my ego inflated a bit higher (this had the unfortunate side effect of no one in my troop wanting to play chess with me).

Fast forward again to 1 and a half years ago. A friend of mine (Bob 2) mentioned the chess club and invited me to come. I went, and it was at Starbucks. I know what you are thinking, that I lied when I said I never went to that Starbucks to play chess. I did not lie, that Starbucks was sold or something and a new Starbucks opened up near it. I went to that Starbucks. I went to the chess club for a few months, and Bob2 invited me to a tourney. He and his dad were very nice and let me snag a ride with them. We drive to the the tourney, and I get paired up with a 10 year old rated 1000 (this is all uscf). We play, and I beat him. Oh, sorry, I lost the game, I beat him later in the bathroom, but I will cover that later. Before the pairing of the second game I guess the td felt bad for me, as I kept borrowing his sheets as I did not know to bring my own. So he gave me a bye by paring me with a kid that did not show at the tourney (500). In the final game I am playing a 5 year old Chinese girl. Remember this detail as it will be important in a bit. Her uscf 1138 and was higher than bob2 who could beat me all the time without batting an eye. I am playing her and drop a piece. I think, "crap". However, I had a few tricks up my sleeve to help me win. I started by telling that (If you are below the grade of middle school, skip ahead to blue coloring)                            Santa Claus was not real. She started crying, but since she was 5 the td just gave her a warning and told her that if she did it again he would dq her.

I waited till he left then told her that her mom and dad were white, and she was Chinese so that meant she was adopted. She started crying again, and I won because she was dqed. I won third place with a cash prize total of $12.50, and the entry fee was only $30. I had to use the bathroom before we left, and in the bathroom guess who I found no other than the guy who beat me in round one. I told him that he caused me to not win first place, and made me lose money. He did not agree at first, but I was able to "talk" some sense into him. After taking his college savings I left.

Second tourney: I went and lost all 3 games. My opponents were all adults (except bob 2), so I could not talk them into refunding me. 

Right before covid I beat two 1700s at my chess club (5 min blitz I won a piece in one and got mate in the other in a dead lost position). This made me want to play more chess so that if I beat them it would not be luck. I would probably have never actually played crazy amounts of chess if not for covid.

During covid I started to play chess on chess.com and watch videos on chess, because I had nothing better to do. And here I am today.

I was gonna post my chess story here but I think your extortion methods resembled Don Corleone so I won't 

he refused, didn't he

how many bobs lol