Rants

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bbg_vivian

Lol hey, I sometimes need someone to rant to. This forum is here for anyone who would like to rant and have someone to talk to. happy.png

hypermuddish

are you a professional ranter

bbg_vivian
hypermuddish wrote:

are you a professional ranter

practically 

hypermuddish

ok nice i will be your ranting target then

bbg_vivian
hypermuddish wrote:

ok nice i will be your ranting target then

lol as im me ranting to you, or you ranting to me?

blueemu

Rant? You want a rant???

Here's your rant:

What about that secret conspiracy by squirrels to take over the world?

Never heard of it? Of course you've never heard of it! What part of the phrase "secret conspiracy" is unclear?

Ever looked at a hill and noticed that it is forested all the way to the top? How do you suppose that happens? Fallen seeds and acorns don't roll uphill, so how does the forest spread upward?

The secret is in the squirrels. When a squirrel decides it's going to bury a nut, it doesn't just dig a hole at the root of the tree. It runs out into the open, out from under the spreading branches, and buries the nut there. On a hillside, that means that a substantial fraction of the nuts will be carried uphill before being buried.

Of course, squirrels are not immortal. Far from it. They can get eaten by all sorts of predators... especially since they insist on running out into the open to bury their nuts.

When a squirrel dies, any nuts that it has buried and not recovered will germinate underground and grow into a new tree... and this is why the squirrel has evolved the behavior pattern of burying them out in the open. If they were just buried next to the tree, the new sapling would get shaded out and die. Buried in the open instead, the new sapling thrives and spreads the forest.

... and this is the squirrel's insidious plan! They are gradually terraforming the Earth into a squirrel-friendly forest environment; one nut at a time.

Help! Help! Squirrels are taking over the world!

 

/rant

bbg_vivian
blueemu wrote:

Rant? You want a rant???

Here's your rant:

What about that secret conspiracy by squirrels to take over the world?

Never heard of it? Of course you've never heard of it! What part of the phrase "secret conspiracy" is unclear?

Ever looked at a hill and noticed that it is forested all the way to the top? How do you suppose that happens? Fallen seeds and acorns don't roll uphill, so how does the forest spread upward?

The secret is in the squirrels. When a squirrel decides it's going to bury a nut, it doesn't just dig a hole at the root of the tree. It runs out into the open, out from under the spreading branches, and buries the nut there. On a hillside, that means that a substantial fraction of the nuts will be carried uphill before being buried.

Of course, squirrels are not immortal. Far from it. They can get eaten by all sorts of predators... especially since they insist on running out into the open to bury their nuts.

When a squirrel dies, any nuts that it has buried and not recovered will germinate underground and grow into a new tree... and this is why the squirrel has evolved the behavior pattern of burying then out in the open. If they were just buried next to the tree, the new sapling would get shaded out and die. Buried in the open instead, the new sapling thrives and spreads the forest.

... and this is the squirrel's insidious plan! They are gradually terraforming the Earth into a squirrel-friendly forest environment; one nut at a time.

Help! Help! Squirrels are taking over the world!

 

/rant

oh my god I love this, got any more?

blueemu
bbg_vivian wrote:

oh my god I love this, got any more?

The Cows From Hell - Chess Forums - Chess.com

blueemu

Weird scenes at the Canadian Open - Chess Forums - Chess.com

blueemu

My big break in show business, and how I broke it. - Chess Forums - Chess.com

bbg_vivian

thanks, ill read these