Seriously man, I hate chess nerds.

You have your average guy that plays chess. He has a few beers enjoys the game, might even study an opening or two. He does Judo or has a garage workshop, he knows how to fix the car and weld ,maybe he lifts a bit of weights. He is a friendly,helpful guy but will kill you and bury your mutilated body in the woods or burn something of yours to the ground if you mess with his family.

Then you have the chess nerd. He barely knows how to boil a kettle and only walks barefoot on grass or sand if there is a firing squad forcing him to.He does not know how to use an angle grinder and he is unfit and weak but he knows 15 variations of every imaginable opening and actually reads books on chess.

The chess nerd is unhelpful by nature, hardly laughs unless someone gets the 12th move of some opening wrong and he generally dislikes people. He feels superior to everybody rated lower than him or anybody that does not play chess and hates people rated higher.  

Trying to get info or help out of this guy is like asking a camel to do-operate in a sand storm and it is worse if you want him to smile, nothing on the planet is funny to him.

Thank god he doesn't know how to use tools because I ain't lending him any.

Some even has an interest outside of chess and will happily correct you at a dinner party in front of everybody with some god damn little wiki-pedia type remark to show how clever they are. And this is of course what you do at dinner parties , you correct people, so what if the guy is named "Plato" instead of " Pluto"!!????

Sitting there, drinking your mineral water  because you are still going to study the 17th variant of the Schnarkelfjörd - Būtgrelsher counter later.

Wearing your  perfectly clean little collared shirt and a perfectly clean little pair of trousers. Not jeans and a Tshirt that says " Death Clutch " because apparently that would be "inappropriate " 

The soft little hands tenderly cutting away at a chicken leg, shooting a snotty side long glance at you when you use your hands.

You know exactly where your spade and axe is in the shed. And you have just bought new blades for the hack saw a week ago. A few garbage bags , a drive to the woods it would  be so simple. You could even just reach across the table smiling and then snap his scrawny little neck.

But no, the women folk always cover for him. He is such an innocent and harmless little eccentric isn't he? He meant well. No goddammit he didn't.

Well, let the chicks do your fighting for you ,you little 28 year old virgin.I have time man and this town is not that big. 

Anyway ,getting back to the point : I hate chess nerds.

No need to post anything here it is not a debate or a topic I am just stating a fact.

Let meeeeeeeeEEEE Entertain youuuuuuuuuuuuu!!! :-)

sorry for saying but when I read your words, the typical "American arrogant Super-Asshole"-Image comes in my mind... Definetely not all are like this but you are the perfect example for one...

Listen, we're almost all adults here...

dont think so but ok Adulttigrrr :)

I'm sorry all I can think of is daffy duck, when I read your comments.  daffy was SO ridiculous and so are you!

.....So you are a beer drinkn', snuff spittn', weight liftin', tool wieldin' guy.  and you will freakn' the pulp out of anyone who don't like you black loud tee-shirt?

ha, thank heavens american bars of full of you guys.

if you had any inclination to save the world-- muslem freaks and bad guys would be outlawed!

err... tolerance of other lifestyles, ways of looking at world and cultures is prolly too much to expect?  yep, thought so.

Man, you put some serious effort into this one.  I am rather impressed.

A tsunami of facts, indeed.  Many hit home.

Just reading them makes me want to be a tool-belt kinda guy.  

Sadly, I am not.

When I see someone post who I imagine is a chess nerd... I read their post in a squeaky little voice. 

This works equally well with someone I think isn't nice... I give them silly voices.  It doesn't Improve their prose but it makes me smile. 

[This post was brought to you in the voice of Keira Knightly]

NERDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chess nerds can't hold their booze.  A couple of Bug Lights and they're out of their puny chess filled brains acting like little girls.

paytolose,thegreatpatzer....as your names indicate you are just regular morons , the grandpa dude is a nerd, you need at least rating of 2200 to be a nerd. No one reaches 2200 without having spent the best part of their life behind a chess board, not getting laid,not playing baseball,not fishing,no, sitting behind a board or a book.

In the old days you would have been flung out of the tribe and left in the wild to fend for yourself , you would be dead in a week.

Nowyou have a voice and what gets me is that that sqeaky little voice is used to insult the alpha males that builds and creates actual and worthwhile stuff.

I am going to rub diesel on my hands right now to rid myself of this nerdy stench.

NonpremiumDuck: I spent time in chess when i was 10 years old, maybe 1 hour a day. Why does that make me a nerd. Nowadays I dont practise anymore but even if, a day has 24 hours. Now go and play chess.

really? an hour a day, don't practice ...FIDE rating 2300. Is it just me or is anybody else smelling an engine here? And that is another thing ,why do they call it an "engine" chess geeks now think cars have computer software under the hood. ( the hood is that big piece of metal on the front of a car that can lift up...yes,it can actually be opened)

lol

Every time you post on my threads this happens kaynight, every time. At first I thought you are just a slow learner but now I realise deep down in your bitter little heart you know what I am saying is the truth...your spinelesless, your weak oneliners ...you keep coming back because you don't have to pretend on cc like in real life ,here you can just be yourself : spineless Kaynight.....at the office you have to pretend to be a man ,at night alone in your little apartment with your goldfish and behind your keyboard and on my threads that is where you are safe ,where you find solace in the fact the Duck knows who you are.And this is why you crave the Duck's attention.

That also makes you my bitch which is a little awkward. 

But I have a big Duck heart man, the Duck knows and senses your fear and stress like an extremely effective machine that can detect fear and stress. To be honest a wheelbarrow could sense your fear and stress, but the Duck prefers to think of himself as a highly effective machine. Because that is what I am ,a highly effective machine in a housing of impenetrable metal alloys that cannot be found on this planet ,all in the shape of an awesome manly Duck.

Like this but only more awesome and definitely more eloquent. And shiny.

And I have guns hidden under my wings.