A lot of people here think that RJC is some kind of kouk. They don't realize that he is one of the few people on this planet who can actually blow smoke up his own ass.
THE FUNNIEST CLEAN JOKES EVER


"Make me one with everything," says the Buddhist to the tofu hot dog vendor.
Then, after getting his tofu hot dog, the Buddhist hands the vendor a $20 bill.
The vendor takes the money and begins helping the next customer.
The Buddhist looks puzzled and asks the vendor, "Where is my change?"
The vendor replies, "Change comes from within."

A woman gets on a bus with her child and the bus driver says. " oh boy, thats the ugliest baby ive ever seen. Fuming she goes to the back of the bus and sits down. The man next to her asks her whats wrong? so she tells him. " that bus driver just insulted me" So he tells her, " Thats terrible, go give him a piece of your mind, i'll hold your monkey for you"

A man walks into a nightclub with a beautiful woman on his arm. The show begins and the comedian comes out for his 1st show of the evening. The comedian says, "A man walks into a nightclub with a beautiful woman on his arm. The show begins and the comedian comes out for his 2nd show of the evening". Just then, a man in the front row stands up and says, "I think I've heard this before". The comedian says, "maybe you caught my 1st show of the evening". The man says, "No, I just walked in here". The comedian says, "well it was a guy who looked just like you. He walked in with a beautiful girl on his arm. It could have been your twin brother". The man says, "My twin brother is dead". The comedian says, "What is this, a wake?". The man says, "I don't have to stand for this" and he STANDS up and walks outside. The comedian says, "Are you out there? I can hear you breathing". The man says, "I'm holding my breath". The comedian says, "well I'm holding your wife"
The man says, "That's NOT my wife" and he walks back into the nightclub with another beautiful woman under his arm.
"Who's that lady I'm seeing you with?" the comedian says. The man says, "THIS is my wife. The other lady is my dead twin brother's wife
The man says, You can take her if you want her". and the comedian says, "not unless you say please". Just then, a man walks into the nightclub with a tattou of a beautiful girl on his arm eating elbow macaroni.
The comedian says, Is that girl from Italy?" The man says, "No just Hungary"
Just then, a man walks into the nightclub, he comes riding in on a pony with a feather stuck in his hat. "What do you call that?" the comedian asks. "An Entrance" says the man.
"but forget that, just give me a beer and give my pony a jockey". The bartender says, "I think that pony's had enough allready". "Well make it a short jockey" the man says, "and while your at it, give that lady's lawyer some briefs". The lady stands up and says, "I can defend myself your honor". And the lawyer says, "but I can defend HER honor, YOUR honor". And the judge says, "Well which one is it? Make up your mind, on-her, OR off-her"?
The lawyer says, "Well DEFINITELY on her. That's the best offer I've had all day". "Well take it or leave it", says the judge. "Couldn't we just drop it"? says the comedian. "Well you better drop leaflets before you bomb" says the judge. "I'm allready bombing" says the comedian. "Maybe its your material" The comedian says, "You don't think it fits?" The judge says, "Well it could be let out a little". The comedian says, "How much do you think it will cost me?" "It will cost you an arm and a leg" says the tailor. The comic says, "listen, can you put it on the cuff?" The tailor says, "I'll tell ya what I'll do. We'll forget the leg and I'll just charge you an arm". And a beautiful arm it is. "OK" says the comedian, and the tailor cuts off the comdian's arm and gives him the suit. The tailor calls his girlfriend and ask her to go out on the town in order to celebrate. He calls on his girlfriend and gives her the beautiful arm as a gift. She wears it around her neck just like a stole and they go out on the town. The man walks into a nightclub with a beautiful arm around his girl. The show begins, and the 1 arm comedian comes out for his last show of the evening. He does his act, and the audience STANDS up and gives him a thunderous ovation. TA-DA!
What did RonaldJosephCote say to AndyClifton?
"We are one with the muppetforce".
AndyClifton: "Because I no longer have a chess.com account will you be my muppet for me?"
RJC: "yes!"
In 1968 Hubert Humphey ran for the Presidency of the United States along with Richard Nixon. If he won, instead of Tricky Dicky, we would of had Hubie the Boubie.