THE FUNNIEST CLEAN JOKES EVER

Why did the house go to the doctor?

Because it had a window pain

What do you get when you cross a grass cutter with a cow?

A lawn moo-er

How do trees get on the internet?

They log in

i have to fully agree with you. wish i could sneak just one good one  in... lol

             Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into the lens-grinding machine?  He made a spectacle of himself       @SleepingBeauty;  like your homepage BTW,  snow falling!

thanks Ron.. its still a work in progress im looking for more colorful flurries... 

Roses are red, violets are blue.

I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

hahahahahahahaah... NOW thats funny!!!!!

  just put too at the end of that.   I'm schizophrenic, and so am I  TOO!

I think this one qualifies, since it's technically clean:

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

           A drunk walks out of a bar and puts a quarter in the parking meter. When it hits 60, he says, OMG, I lost 100 pounds

lololol...

  When the snail went to the police after getting mugged by two turtles, the police asked, "Did you get a good look at the assailants?".  The snail replied, "No, it all happened so fast!".

What kind of pigs know karate?

Pork chops

What do you give a sick pig?

oink-ment

Who is the smartest pig in the world?

Ein-swine

When and where was the most brilliant team of theoretical physicists ever?

1905--in the patent office in Bern, Switzerland.

Why should you never tell a pig a secret?

Because they love to squeal

Maroon baboon platoons maroon baboon platoons dragoon dragoon maroon baboon platoons maroon baboon platoons dragoon.

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo.

Dogs dog dogs dogs dog.

 very clever...