THE JOHN BEAR'S ADVICE ON GETTING A GIRLFRIEND

SO YOU WANNA GIRLFRIEND DO YA HOOMUN??  HERE'S JOHN BEAR ADVICE

1) LEAVE FRESH FISH IN HER MAILBOX.  ALSO EMAIL HER PHOTOS OF FISH SO SHE KNOWS YOU INTERESTED.

2)  PUT FLOWERS WITH THE FISH TOGETHER IN THE MAILBOX

3) KNOCK OVER MAILBOX WITH YOUR BODY AND GIVE LOUD ROAR TO LET HER KNOW YOU OUTSIDE AND HER MAILBOX IS FULL 

4)  MAKE HER HONEY SANDWICH.  2 PIECES OF BREAD WITH HONEY IN THE MIDDLE AND SOME FUR

5)  TELL HER SHE REMINDS YOU OF SMUSHED BERRIES MADE INTO JELLY AND PUT INTO FORM OF HOOMUN

6)  TAKE HER TO RIVER AND PUSH HER ON LOG

7)  WHEN SHE SLEEPS YOU SNEAK IN AND NUDGE HER WITH YOUR COLD, WET NOSE

8)  PUT BEEHIVE IN HER CAR SO SHE ALWAYS HAVE FRESH HONEY

9) TELL HER YOU DON'T BITE, THEN WHEN SHE LEAST EXPECT IT - BITE HER

10)  TELL HER SHE REMINDS YOU NOTHING OF CROCODILIANS AND SHE DOESN'T RESEMBLE ANY CROCODILIAN YOU'VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE

A-WHA-LA-BAH-TAH, JUST LIKE THAT, YOU HAVE GIRLFRIEND NOW!!!

Ty i will now have a girlfriend

I don’t think some of this stuff is going to work John Bear.

I followed your instructions and now am under arrest. What next?

HAVE YOU TRIED GOING OVER IT INSTEAD OF UNDER IT?? ME NO ALWAYS GOOD AT HOOMUN PROBLEMS SEEING AS HOW I'M JUST A BEAR AFTER ALL. BUT IF YOU'RE UNDER IT I SAY PULL SWITCHAROONI AND GO OVER THE TOP OF IT.

IS LIKE WHEN THE JOHN BEAR ENCOUNTER BOULDER ROCK AND TRY GOING UNDER BUT CAN'T FIT DUE TO JOHN BEAR BELLY FAT, SO A CLIMB-TO-DO IS WHAT JOHN BEAR... DO.... IS JOHN BEAR STYLE TO CLIMB OR CRAWL. TRY BOTH HOOMUN! SEE WHAT WORK FOR YOU!!

wdh

IT WORK MONKEY BOARD!!! BUT MONKEY BOARD IF SHE CONFUSE YOU HAVE TO TELL HER JOHN BEAR STYLE, AND IF THAT DON'T WORK... YOU GOTTA TRY HER JOHN BEAR COUNTRY... KEEP GOING UNTIL JOHN BEAR FIASCO IF NEED BE!! EVENTUALLY SHE UNDERSTAND... OR SHOULD I SAY, OVERSTAND?... SOMETIMES WITH YOU HOOMUNS I CAN'T TELL IF YOU UNDER SOMETHING OR OVER SOMETHING!! IS ALL SLOPPY HONEY TO JOHN BEAR AND WHICHEVER WAY IS WHICH IS WHICH WAY THE JOHN BEAR WISHES

how do I find out email? and where she lives?

I went over the arrest and I’m fine now. Thanks wise John bear

this is so thoughtful, I wish someone did this to me fr😔💔

#11 bet? :3

LMAOO I expect fishes and flowers in my mailbox by tmr🤺

#13 challenge accepted 🤺

I'M BEAR AND NO HOOMUN BUT I LEARN YOUR ENGLUSH OK. LEARN TO TYPE IT. STILL LEARNING BUT HARD FOR MY BEAR BRAIN. IF I LEARN HOOMUN YOU CAN LEARN BEAR. IT ALL INTERMINGLE AND YOU CAN DO PLENTY OF ANIMAL!! SOMETIMES I IMPERSONATE CROCODILIAN EVEN JUST SO I CAN CRAWL CLOSER TO THEM ON MY BELLY FAT BEFORE BIG JUMP, POUNCE, SMOOSH ON CROCODILIAN BEFORE THEY KNOW I'M JOHN BEAR

Yay

I gonna get a gf yay

John bear can U teach me bear pls

I TEACH YOU BEAR!! GO MY PROFILE, READ MY NOTES, LONG NOTES FOR LONG TIME ON BEAR ADVICE. HOW TO BE BEAR, THINK LIKE BEAR, MOVE LIKE BEAR, GROOVE LIKE JOHN BEAR STYLE.

IS YOU EAT PLENTY. IS YOU SMOOSH A CROCODILIAN. IS YOU GOOD TO NATURE? GOOD TREE FRIENDS GIVE A GOOD SCRATCH BACK. IS YOU GIVE GOOD SNIFF?? FIND FLOWER, FIND BRANCH, GIVE THE GOOD SNIFF. GO ON STICK YOUR NOSE FURTHER IN FLOWER, IS GOOD. SEE THE DIRT?? IS A GOOD LAY IN DIRT. SEE THE BOULDER?? IS A GOOD LAY ON BOULDER. SEE THE RIVER?? A DIP YOUR PAWS IN RIVER. ALWAYS GOOD DRINK. IS A GOOD SUN BATHE ANYWHERE. NEED A SHADE?? FIND TREE FRIEND GOOD SHADE. PLENTY SHADE, PLENTY SUN, PLENTY FOOD. IS YOU SMOOSH A CROCODILIAN SO THEY DON'T CAUSE SUCH MAYHEM ALL THE TIME. IS EASY HOOMUN, YOU SEE!!!