Top 100 Forum Titles You Won't See on Chess.com

#66.  Mother said to son "don't forget to eat your spinach dear it makes for strong teeth"

Son to mother " then why don't you give it to grandpa?"

#65.  Judge: "Haven't I've seen you before?"

Man: "Yes your honor, I taught your daughter how to play the piano".

Judge: "Thirty years".

#64. 

If you were to

spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you

would find the letter 'A'?

 Anwser one thousand

#63.  Our neighbor's wife fixed supper and it was food fit for a King.  Here King here King, good boy.

#62.  How do you catch a polar bear?

Grab a handful of peas, find the hole where he surfaces for air, line the hole with the peas, when he comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole.

#61.  Chess' popularity is slowly creeping into the music industry.  Prompting Willie Nelson & Julio Iglesias to change the lyrics to their song,

                                To all the girls I've loved before. 

From:

To all the girls I've loved before

Who travelled in and out my door

I'm glad they came along

I dedicate this song

To all the girls I've loved before

To all the girls I once caressed

And may I say I've held the best

For helping me to grow

I owe a lot I know

To all the girls I've loved before

To:

To all the girls I've loved playing chess

Who travelled diagonally and across my board

I'm glad they came and played

I dedicate this day

To all the girls I've loved before

To all the girls I once checkmated

And may I say I've planned and waited

For helping me to En Passant

That move proved to be a God sent

To all the girls I've loved before

#60.  All the chess players on this site are inmature whinning little babies who need someone or something to complain about, therefore they have no life to speak of.

#59.  In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts.  So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.'  It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'.  The same for c.c forums.

This has appeared many times.

 Hey man it's good to her from you again, but I had no idea this was a topic here before.  But it doesn't apply to us right? 

#58: I don't know what to post, so just post random nonsense here.

 Me too, show me a decent forum to post in and I will also.  #58.?

#57: I had to fix something when I was playing live chess, and it took longer than I thought it would, so I ran out of time in a losing position. Now my opponent thinks I was trying to make him quit by running out the clock, What should I do?

That one is better, feed me more, I am not full. 

#56: Bullet players are underrated 

#58. Live chess should be outlawed.

#57. Every forum topic is true and all who post in them are absolutely trustworthy.

Haha, golden!

 Yeah and that also applies when stealing the neighbor's cable, !!

#56: I just got locked out of chess.com 

#55: I think Fischer and Kasparov are equal