True story

I'm back at school... at 57 years old!... taking an IT course at the local Community College. The syllabus includes modules on Network Management, Computer Hardware, Operating Systems and Applications, Programming in Visual Basic and in HTML-5, as well as Business Writing and Interpersonal Communications. Our IC class is made up of two combined classes... my own IT group (mixed men and women) and a Human Services class (almost entirely women).

As part of our Interpersonal Communications course, we spend one lunch-hour each week attending a "Lunch and Learn" lecture given by an outside expert who visits the campus just for that purpose. Each Lunch and Learn lecture has hand-outs of some sort... usually notes, photo-copies or brochures. Our IC instructor, Wayne, doesn't attend these L&L lectures. Instead, he has us sign our names on the hand-outs and drop them off in his in-box; later on, he leafs through them and checks off our names in order to "take attendance" at the lecture.

Last week's L&L was on Sexually Transmitted Diseases... a wonderful topic to listen to while you are trying to eat. The hand-outs were condoms. We all signed our names on them and dropped them off in Wayne's in-box.

When Wayne got back to his office, his in-box was bulging with condoms... and he couldn't just toss them out. He had to hang onto them until he had a chance to sort through them and take attendance. So he just stuffed them into his briefcase and went off to teach his afternoon class.

When he got home after classes, he put down his stuff and went out for his habitual evening walk, to relax and get a bit of exercise after sitting in a chair most of the day. While he was out, his wife decided to unpack his briefcase for him.

She reached in... and came out with a handful of condoms, each signed with a different woman's name. After a moment of shock, she reached in again, and pulled out more condoms, dozens of them... most signed by women, but several with men's names as well.

When Wayne got back from his walk, his wife was waiting for him, and his Interpersonal Communications skills were put to the test.

... and now an exercise for the student:

When Wayne gets home and finds his wife waiting in the hall, clutching a bunch of signed condoms... what should he say? Bear in mind that no matter what he says, his wife will likely interrupt him with her own set of remarks, so the first sentence he speaks should be carefully chosen.

Should he say:

1) Yours should be in there somewhere, honey.

2) This isn't the way I wanted you to find out...

3) You've spoiled the surprise!

4) ...?

I'll take what I can get these days...?

I like "This isn't the way I wanted you to find out...", but I suppose we all have out personal favorites.