Why is the server bogged down? (humorous thread)

The servers on chess.com run very well, but if they ever do run slowly, this is why:

1. Me making repeated single-edits to a thread I posted only seconds ago (and which I neglected to proofread).

2. Me refreshing my online chess screen, not willing to wait for the automatic 30-second refresh.

3. Me running computer analysis on chess matches that should have been drawn fifty moves before they were.

4. Me writing lengthy complaints about each-and-every endless quiz question with improper punctuation.

5. Me collecting RSS feeds on four computers and an ipod.

I know those aren't the best on Earth, but I'm hoping someone can make this thread worth reading :). Can anyone else come up with anything?

Hmmm....... lemon curry?

?

Every time my air conditioner kicks on, the Chess.com servers slow down. I think they tapped into my power line and they're stealing my electricity!

lol