Automatically accepting challenges?

I like to play live chess.

But... the last 2 games I've played, at the end, while I'm trying to chat with my opponent, that tab is disappearing and then a new game is starting up.  I don't want that behavior at all.  When a game is done, I may not be ready for another game yet. I may need a drink, or to go to the bathroom, or I may jus tbe done for the time being.

So, I have to hit the abort button when the new game starts up.

Is there a way to stop this from happening?

And then, just now -- I clicked on a tournament link (for info) and boom, it starts me in the tournament.  NO.  How do I stop this?  Its not fair to my opponents who are looking for a game when I don't want to start one and it starts up automatically.

I've never seen a situation where you automatically have a game start without accepting it, barring tournaments where when the next round starts, your game automatically starts.

Also, when a Live tourney is the sign-up phase, you join it if you click on it. If it is really close to starting, then you can potentially end up being paired the first round. In those cases, I wouldn't click on a tourney that has less than 2 minutes to start unless I wanted to take the chance I might play in it (that leaves plenty of time to check who is playing and withdraw if wanted)

Its happend to me twice in live chess now. I suspect the tournament I got added into when i cliced the link to it - I wanted to see the number of people in it, how many rounds, that sort of thing. I had to resign my game b/c my interent connection was spotty.  I tried to play it after it started b/c I can't abort anymore b/c of the TOS.  8/  Which really sucks for the guy I was playing - I started teh game apologising b/c I wasn't sure i'd be able to finish it b/c of my internet connection.  He was nice, but I still feel bad for him. I don't like 'gimmie' wins like that.  And he was quite good too. 8)

I've been playing around in the settings again -- could it be in settings / "Challenges from" ?  I had it set to everybody, but what does that do? Accept people's request when they hit 'new game' and it matches my rating limits so then it tries to start a game with me?

I'm not really sure. Maybe that might be part of it but I still thought you had the option to deny it. It's never happened to me but I'm usually only in live for tourneys anyway.

Though, someone would actively have to challenge you by clicking your name or entering the challendge in the chat.

It seems to have stopped.  I must have been spastic or ... and this is what I realy think was the problem...  --> I have xfinity/comcast at home. Their connection does all kinds of weird things to Linux Mint when their connetion dies.  I've lost a few games lately to that bad internet connection.  Thankfully the score system on chess.com really does make up for such stastical abnormalites.  Hats off to the admins for the rules on abandoning games too.  I think I understand the system and maybe what went wrong.  if you click, "new game", that's committing once a match is made.    Maybe i errantly hit enter while that button had focus.  8)  I really like playing here.