Stalling

Why is there are rule against stalling and how do the officials know whether someone is stalling or thinking?  What if they're relaxing?  Is there a rule against that?  What if they're doing housework?

In the days before chess clocks, there was a real problem with stalling.  Of course you can't tell whether someone is stalling or thinking.  Even some people who were also good players would stall to make their opponents impatient.

I have been one of the most active players in the uscf several years.  Never have I seen a tournament director impose a penalty for stalling.  When you start a game its like entering into a contract.  One thing the site should be doing something about is players playing selectively in the pools.  Anyhow when you start a game you agree to several things, including if you let your time expire you lose.  You also can expect that your opponent might choose to use more of their time than you might like or they might not use it the way that you like.  You have no say over it just as you have no say over what moves they make.  If waiting for your opponent to move bothers you, pick a faster time control.   Or if you want to play slow and you want your opponent to play fast play a computer.  If you can't stand losing, play a computer set to a weak setting instead of complaining about people who just want to play chess.

If you are at a live tournament and you leave the tournament area to go take a nap, you may very well be forfeited. It is reasonable for both players in live chess to have the expectation that both players are actively engaged in the game.

I don't let my clock run out in a losing position.  I have never seen any player forfieted for anything along these lines except seeking illegal help or leaving the tournament area where it is possible to monitor them.  I have seen inexperienced people try to make up new rules because they think they know better than those who have been playing many decades and the many who are happy with the standard rules,  just not this particular new rule.  There is a wonderful new invention called a chess clock.  If my opponent is in front of me, I have no idea whether he's thinking of the game or thinking of what he wants to have for dinner.  And you know what?  Its none of my business, just as its none of his business or anyone else's business whether I am thinking about the game or not.  

Your argument that in over the board chess one can't tell whether one's opponent is concentrating on the game or dreaming of lamb chops is pretty ridiculous.

And that even if there might be some doubt there is a difference in online chess that justifies having the program prompt you to ask if you are still there if you suddenly go into a very extended think in a losing position.

You probably don't have much tournament experience.    The only reason to consider what your opponent might be thinking if it affects the moves you will play when its your turn.  During a tournament game, you are only supposed to speak to your opponent to resign or offer a draw.  The tournament director doesn't ask a player whether they are thinking or not.  That's what the clocks are for and this is what happens when newbies try to rewrite the rules.

At a real touranment, people leave the tournament room all the time.  They only penalized if they leave because they are losing and fail to return, or if they are suspected of cheating.