Signs you're a bad chess player

You know you could be a grandmaster if you were to put in the time and money. Couple hours a week studying. Maybe a hundred bucks for a good coach.

But, you choose not to because you "have a life".

Besides, really good chess players simply have a fetish...a paroxysmal fetish. Thus, they are to be pitied.

Your all-time favorite chess book is: 

I Was Tortured in the Pasadena Jailhouse

It was written by your favorite chess player, Joey Casablanca

You grabbed opponent' piece to checkmate your own king and claim victory.

who said it was a tournant.

PS.:(

PPS:):):):):):):):)

http://www.chess.com/photos/view_album/sabo04/3d-chess-project

your first move is exd1# and you say you win

The difference between a bad player and a good one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ciFTP_KRy4

You're so colourblind that you do see the difference between black and white...

You would be surprised at how well some blind people can play.

This is blindness indeed.

Or is that true vision? 

Oh! I've got one!

When you're playing someone, you spend all your time chatting about how they're American, gay, and deserve to be put to jail!

And then, when you know you're going to lose, you stall for 10 minutes, and spen the time commenting on the grammar of someone playing from an iPad!

Then, before you lose, you call your opponent a bunch of synonyms for female genitilia!

When you think that a chess rating of 1000 makes you a talent of exceptional ability and potential.

http://www.chess.com/photos/view_album/sabo04/3d-chess-project

Rooks need scope. The early moves 1.h4 and 1.a4 are excellent for bringing these powerful pices into the game via R a3 and Rh3. The queens to join in to. Queen in the centre is good. And a last point. Castling is bad. Very bad. Your king is safest in the centre because having put your rooks and queens in the centre as early as possiblke, your king will be protected being behind your pieces.

This thread should come with its own emergency oxygen supply (for those of us who get out of breath from laughing).

You have difficulty understanding the difference between a piece sac and a hung piece.

You know you are a bad chess player when:

1.The only way you can avoid losing is not playing at all.

2.You get checkmated like this:

3.You resign as white in this position because you did not se any way to stop Rf1#

4.You take pieces from your opponent whenever you can because you like playing with them on the side of the board.

nice jposthuma! 100th page and 2000 post both coming up soon 

Yeah, that was positively Cowardesque.