51 Things Every Chess Player Does (Or Has Done)
What unites us as chess players? No matter where we live or what we do for a living, we have a game that each of us enjoys. In fact, every chess player is a little bit like Batman: It's not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us. And we all do a lot of the same things! Not all of them good... in fact, most of them are not so good.
Here are 51 of them.
Blunder
You've never blundered, you say? Nice to meet you, Mr. Stockfish. Seriously, though, everyone blunders... even the two best speed chess players on the planet, GM Magnus Carlsen and GM Hikaru Nakamura.
Flag
You've never lost on time? Are you playing games with five-minute increments?
Mouse slip
Even over-the-board players are known to sometimes put a piece absentmindedly on the wrong square, but obviously, this is a mostly online thing.
Capture en passant
Sure, maybe it's not the best move in every position, but when an opposing pawn slides right up next to yours, who can resist en passant?
Puzzle Rush
Chess.com reinvented the puzzle in 2020 with Puzzle Rush, something surely everyone has tried at least once by now. If not, click that link!
Watch a stream
And because you've watched a stream (of course, you have)...
Botez Gambit
... you're probably already familiar with this term for hanging your queen, which again is something everyone does at least once.
Even world champions have made this unthinkable act (unthinkable as in you are unable to think while you are doing it).
Play until early morning
Even super grandmasters playing in the biggest tournament of their lives aren't immune! (Starting to get kind of specific. aren't we, though?)
Lots of overlap between this one and...
Tilt
You know, when you just can't get out of your own way? Just like this @spennythompson character (at least we trust that it's a character).
Premove
Even if premoves don't always go this well. (In fact, they almost never go this well.)
Stalemate
Everyone stalemates, from Ludwig (who managed to simultaneously demonstrate the downside of premoves)...
... to GM Samuel Reshevsky:
Fall in love with an opening
Win All Your Games By Playing The London is a book title I just made up, but some people would buy it... and maybe even read it.
Fall out of love with an opening
But then you get crushed three times in a row with the London (you're not GM Ding Liren, after all) and disown it forever, even reselling the book on Amazon or eBay for 63 cents.
Make fun of an opening
And then you end up being yet another player who mocks the London at any opportunity.
— Chess.com (@chesscom) November 14, 2021
Miss checkmate
Sometimes for several moves!
Resign early or even when winning/equal
This is another one that strikes even the best grandmasters. In my case, however, I'm usually just tired of a game.
Think you just played checkmate but the game doesn't end
This is particularly devastating when the reason is that you hung the checking piece, especially if it's your queen.
Think you just played a check but the game ends because it's mate
Harder to design a version of this from scratch, but I'm sure you know the feeling anyway. And they say, "Always check, it may be mate!" is bad advice. Why are "they" always wrong?
Try to flag someone, no matter how far down in material or on the clock you are
Or is that just me?
Enter a tournament
You can't tell me you've never, at the very least, had 30 minutes to kill and spent them on a bullet arena.
Make an illegal move... or try to
Lose track of time
Maybe not to the degree of Civilization players—if you know that game—but just look at Spenny's tilt session above for an exaggerated version of, and oh look, it's 2 a.m.
Get distracted or interrupted (phone call, household member...)
Maybe because you've lost track of time. Or maybe it's just because there's a pineapple behind your back.
Make funny faces
Whether you're struggling with what to do... or your opponent just made a brutal howler in the world championship:
Forget it's your turn
Especially when the sound effects are turned off. But it has even happened in real games and to top grandmasters.
Immediately realized you've blundered
Some recognize it more immediately than others.
Watch nervously and helplessly, hoping the opponent doesn't see the opportunity you just left them
A.k.a. this meme.
Go over games
But why do we go over our games? The idea is to learn from your mistakes, but who wants to do that!? Why not instead...
Game Review a win to see if you had a brilliant move
Going to Game Review after your wins, now that's more like it! (from @pedropinhata). Sadly, as Pedro also writes, the next step is to "then get upset when you actually suck."
Lose a game and never look at it again
Meanwhile, I wager most untitled online-only players do this with approximately... 98% of their online games. Myself included. On to the next one!
Not know what your losing move was
Of course, at the time we make those losing moves, nobody from someone playing their first game up to Magnus Carlsen knows it's happening!
But some of us can't tell even if we do review the game.
Set up the board wrong (at least once)
Or more than once, if you're a stock photographer. But you can avoid making this mistake in the future with one simple video.
@chess" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@chess?refer=embed" rel="ugc nofollow noreferrer noopener">@chess How to set up a chess board. #chess #chesstok #chesstutorials ♬ original sound - Chess.com
Play a game against yourself
Less common nowadays when you can just play a computer at any time. Or your echo:
@chess" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@chess?refer=embed" rel="ugc nofollow noreferrer noopener">@chess @theharrisalterman #chess #chesstok ♬ original sound - Chess.com
Have an opinion on bishops vs. knights
The trope is beginners like knights, but top players like bishops.
Not see a knight fork until it's too late (and change your position on bishops vs. knights)
They're tricky bastards, after all.
Eat or drink at the board/computer during a game
Doesn't matter whether it's me absentmindedly eating through a bag of potato crisps or a GM Ian Nepomniachtchi on his way to winning the Candidates—we all need our refreshments.
Stare down an opponent
Come to think of it, that Nepo clip above also features a staredown.
Think you're winning (even when you're not)
After the 2018 Candidates Tournament, this became known in the biz as "pulling a Kramnik." Just see Ding Liren's reaction in the 1:00-1:10 section of this interview.
Get impatient waiting for your opponent's move, then take forever on yours
In casual settings where phones are allowed, this is also known as "browsing Twitter during your opponent's turn." And on Chess.com, when it happens to you, it's time to turn off chat.
Pretend your mistake is a sacrifice
Or its flip side: continuously making sacrifices that you know are actually mistakes.
Solve 1,000 smothered mate puzzles before ever getting to play one in a game
I know how it works! Please just let me get it in a game one time!
Win (or lose) on a lost-connection timeout
I've never felt so conflicted about gaining rating points! Oh, who am I kidding? No, I'm not. Give me that rating!
When you see a good move, play it (ignoring Lasker), and then it turns out it's a bad move and you should have taken some more time
Turns out those rules exist for a reason!
Reject two candidate moves after some thought and immediately play a third that instantly loses
This process even has a name, Kotov Syndrome, after the player and author GM Alexander Kotov who wrote about it.
Make a random move because you can't think of a good one
Like I'm supposed to be able to identify my least active piece just by looking at the position?
Get accused of cheating
Whelp, time to turn off chat. Where did my opponent even learn that vocabulary?
Suspect someone of cheating
Where's that Report Game button?
Get up in the middle of a game
Although if you do this in bullet, you're in trouble. In over-the-board classical, too, depending on your intentions.
Look at ceiling while calculating
From @AnthonyLevin. Of course, just because it works for Hikaru doesn't mean it works for us.
Yell at computer or phone after losing
Also from @AnthonyLevin. I can't relate... [looks at ceiling]
Vow never to play chess ever again
From @Grandad_master and is one I also know all too well despite it being no more logical than yelling at the machine.
Say, "But my rating's not accurate, I'm better than that"
Also from @Grandad_master. There's a reason we all protect our Puzzles ratings... they're hundreds of points higher than any other!
What have we missed? What chess things are you and your chess friends always doing? Let us know in the comments!
Nathaniel Green is a staff writer for Chess.com who writes articles, player biographies, Titled Tuesday reports, video scripts, and more. He has been playing chess for about 30 years and resides near Washington, DC, USA.
