The Update: Chapter 3
This is a work of fiction and is not meant to accurately represent any people or events it references. This blog is not meant to claim Chess.com cannot be trusted [insert better explanation] (you get what I'm trying to say, right?). I promise this is just a cool idea for a story
Username Colors and their Meaning in Clubs
Owner
Super Admin
Admin
Coordinator
Member
November 27, 2025
A Thanksgiving Message from the Chess.com Team - November 27, 2025
We know you're all probably offline spending time with your families or cooking delicious meals for them, but we wanted to post this message for those of you who are on today.
With the upcoming plans, we know this can be daunting to those of you who have been on the site for many years. But we promise this is for the better. Once we're done, you'll see the benefits of it all. We're not Lichess, and we don't plan on becoming them.
But you shouldn't worry about all this today. Go. Get off Chess.com and spend time with your families.
Happy holidays! - The Chess.com Team
In the notes of NYE 2025
Magnus: This new announcement from CC is really weird.
Magnus: "But you shouldn't worry about all this today. Go. Get off Chess.com and spend time with your families." So then why are you posting the announcement today?
SlytherinRules1942: Wait, part of the announcement is bolded
Magnus: Oh yeah. I'll translate that.
Kaleb341: Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I'm just checking in real quick before we leave for my dad's house. Anything new?
CagedHostilePigeon: Aren't you Canadian? /j
Kaleb341: Canadians are allowed to have American fathers.
Kaleb341: Hm...another code?
Agentneck: You know what I find to be highly suspicious?
Desolate: Not this again.
Agentneck: HOW ARE WE ALWAYS ON AT THE EXACT SAME TIME AS EACH OTHER?!
Desolate: Wdym
Agentneck: ARE YOU SURE WE'RE NOT SECRETLY ALL AMERICANS?!
Desolate: I don't even know how to respond to that ;-;
Magnus: "Januaryone" That's probably supposed to be "January One", and if this is the same person, we now know when the DDoS is happening.
Magnus: I'm starting to think the "we aren't Lichess" part is someone trying to tell us that the attackers are not from Lichess.
Kaleb341: I'm pulling an Agent here. What if they're trying to trick us into thinking it's not Lichess?
Desolate: Guys it's Thanksgiving IDEK know why I'm on rn. We can figure this out tomorrow. If you're gonna be on, at least play some chess or something.
*Desolate goes offline*
Magnus: Welp, Imma go flex my Thanksgiving meal on everyone in the forums.
Agentneck: Aren't you Egyptian or something?
Magnus: I live in America.
Agentneck: Why
Magnus: Because I moved here with the permission of the government?
Agentneck: Is
Agentneck: Everyone
Agentneck: I
Agentneck: Know
Agentneck: Flipping
Agentneck: AMERICAN
Magnus: Maybe you should move back to CVC notes for a bit-
In the notes of Chess.org vs. ChessChild
[dude with racial slur as username]: [insert swear words]
Reflection: STOP SPAMMING THAT
Agentneck: I'm here to rant about everyone on here apparently being American.
[dude with racial slur as username]: [insert racial slurs]
[dude with racial slur as username]: [insert homophobic language]
[dude with racial slur as username]: [insert NSFW link]
Agentneck: Magnus, there's a stupid spammer! He's going ruin the rant!
Agentneck: Anyway, so apparently everyone on here is American. Magnus is American. I'm sure Pigeon is American. Kaleb is the exception because he's Canadian, but he's still on the same time as some Americans. I'M AMERICAN
[dude with racial slur as username]: Not everyone is American.
Agentneck: Wdym?
[dude with racial slur as username]: I'm from Massachusetts.
Agentneck: THAT'S IN AMERICA
French_Toast: What the frick is going on- ;-;
Agentneck: ARE YOU AMERICAN TOO?!
French_Toast: Yes?!
Agentneck: I'M GONNA GO BUY ALL THE TOILET PAPER AT WALMART AND THEN BUILD A WALL WITH IT IN FRONT OF TARGET
Agentneck: WOULD ANYONE LIKE TO JOIN ME?
*Agentneck goes offline*
Reflection: Sure!
Reflection: Wait no- what
[dude with racial slur as username]: Guys, I'm sorry about this. I'll go change my username.
I_Like_Top_Gun: Happy Thanksgiving!
I_Like_Top_Gun: Um...what...can I get a TLDR to see if this is worth reading, please?
Magnus: This dude with a racial slur as his username was spamming inappropriate things. Agent came in and started complaining about Americans or smth and then went to buy toilet paper. The racial slur dude has, out of nowhere, decided to repent.
DudeWithRacialSlurAsUsername: Yeah, because you guys clearly don't need this with the horrible admins here.
TheScriptwriterOfTurkeys: What on earth is that new username
Magnus: Excuse me?
DudeWithRacialSlurAsUsername: You knew I what I was doing, and yet I'm not muted. You haven't even deleted my notes.
*DudeWithRacialSlurAsUsername deletes his notes and then leaves*
French_Toast: Yeah, Magnus, are you okay?
Magnus: Of course I am.
French_Toast: Maybe you should take a break from CC for a bit. Btw, can you please let me into the discussion club?
In DMs between ilovetrees and Pfpsarelame
ilovetrees: Someone is planning a DDoS attack here on Dec 31. Ik bc I'm working undercover w/ them. The "January One" message is a trap.
Pfpsarelame: And why, exactly, should I trust you?
ilovetrees: [insert picture of Dangerous_Kevin's desktop from the POV of StubbyToe because there is no way I'm trying to figure out what that would even look like] You were there. You decide if this is photoshopped or not.
ilovetrees: Don't tell your group yet. I'm StubbyToe.
In a collaborative document
Frost: I may be getting suspicion thrown on me. Any suggestions, Midnight and Champagne?
Midnight 1: Be confident. Say that you're right enough and people will start to believe you, with your high position.
Champagne 2: To add to M1's advice: You're a Super Admin, a powerful position. Just keep the trust of everyone, and they'll be swayed pretty easily.
Midnight 1: We could probably brainstorm a reason for Pfpsarelame to close, and then hack his account and close it. You're next in line to be automatically made owner.
Champagne 2: Hey, Frost. You're the leader of this operation. If you're slipping up, that doesn't look very good to us, got it?
Frost: Very well. Thank you for the advice. And yes, close Pfpsarelame's account. Leave Desolate for now, her closure might cause too much suspicion.
Midnight 1: Don't promote randos either.
Frost: I'm not stupid.
