you own a flashlight that shines red light
you have ever said, "Oh, be a fine girl, kiss me."
you can easily tell the difference between a meteor, an airplane, and a satellite
you think it's only natural to see the sun set when you wake up and rise just before you go to bed
you actually know the latitude of your home town, your college, and any other place you've been to more than twice
you bring a clipboard and red light with you on EVERY vacation
you snicker when someone complains about getting "only" six hours of sleep the night before
you know which moon in the Solar System resembles the Death Star
your family is tired of watching "Contact" over and over
you can see the Milky Way despite the light pollution of your home town
your favorite pastime when visiting beautiful spots in the countryside is measuring your Naked Eye Limiting Magnitude
you actually know how to measure your Naked Eye Limiting Magnitude
you've ever planned a trip to the moon to improve the "seeing"
you've ever considered blowing up the moon to reduce the light in the sky from the full moon
you've ever wondered how much you'd be fined if you blew out all of the streetlights on your street so you could see the stars better
you pronounce "Maria" with the emphasis on the first syllable
you consider a compliment to be the fourth variable star discovered in Gemini
you've ever called 1,000 years "very quick"
you pronounce "Messier" with a French accent
the phrase "onion skin" makes you think of a type II supernova
you can pronounce Chandrasekhar, Chicxulub, Schwarzschild, and Hyakutake
you wonder why no one else is awake at three in the morning
someone calls you a "wimp" and you wonder what dark matter has to do with anything
you've lost the ability to enjoy a beautiful sunset because you're too busy wondering if the clouds will clear
you think a "macho man" is a man who lives on Massive Compact Halo Objects
you can predict the weather based on your observing schedule
you think that the curvature of space-time is easier to understand than gravity waves
you snicker when someone complains about getting "only" four hours of sleep the night before
when someone casually wonders aloud how many planets out there might be able to support life you immediately think of the Drake equation
you consider anything except for hydrogen and helium a "metal"
you think the purpose of life is to study the sky
you know the difference between a comet and an asteroid
you've ever wondered what would happen if you detonated a nuclear bomb on Jupiter
you missed the sunset because you were taking flats
if North is drawn at the top of the page, you expect to see East on the left and West on the right
the last "dirty snowball" you saw was beautiful
you can convert from AUs to Angstroms
you consider an insult to be the fourth variable star discovered in Ophiuchus
you know what APOD stands for
you missed the sunrise because you were taking flats
you catch yourself saying things like, "You do realize that the coefficient of friction decreases exponentially as you step over the foul line, don't you?" while doing simple activities, such as bowling
after such a statement, someone had to explain to you why all your friends looked at you as though you could no longer speak English
words such as "retrograde", "logarithmic", "exponential", and "elliptical" are part of your everyday vocabulary
you can draw an H-R diagram from memory
you know what an H-R diagram is
you've ever said that you're made of stardust
the phrase "a mere billion years" is not a contradiction in terms
you consider dressing up as Carl Sagan for Halloween
you can spell Chandrasekhar, Chicxulub, Schwarzschild, and Hyakutake
you attend the local planetarium religiously
you know more than the person giving the planetarium show
you're actually jealous when you hear someone complain about getting "only" two hours of sleep the night before
you can refer to WINOs, MaCHOs, WIMPs, TOEs, and GUTs with a straight face
you don't know why you wouldn't refer to WINOs, MaCHOs, WIMPs, TOEs, and GUTs with a straight face
you've ever called 11 kilometers per second "very slow"
you know who Hertzsprung and Russel are
you can spell Hertzsprung
you've created countless mnemonics for the Harvard Spectral Class sequence even though you know the order backwards and forwards
you stay up until three in the morning on a cloudy night, because you actually saw a star at 11:00
you think in acronyms
you've ever convinced yourself that you could see the rings of Saturn naked-eye
you know all of the different stages of sleep deprivation
you know the entire Greek alphabet even though you've never had one class in Greek
you have a personal vendetta against the weatherman
you put on your application to JPL that you know how to use units correctly -- and that you can convert from cgs to SI
you "know" that Mount Olympus is on Mars
"pc" means neither "politically correct" nor "personal computer" to you -- it means parsec, of course
you know when the next meteor shower is
you think that -1 is bigger than 6 (it's brighter, anyway)
you know why you'd want to spell or pronounce Chandrasekhar, Chicxulub, Schwarzschild, or Hyakutake
you know the difference between a meteor, a meteoroid, and a meteorite
you have your own meteorite
you are envious when someone says they got ANY sleep during the weeks of August 11, November 17 or December 13
you know what is special about each of those three weeks
you plan your whole yearly calendar around those three weeks
you'd be willing to make yourself 20 years older just to have been in the Arizona desert in the early morning of November 17, 1966!
the most important event on August 11, 1999 had nothing to do with the moon and the Sun
your first reaction at seeing a fireball streak gloriously across the sky is to check your watch - or start counting
your claim to fame is that you've met Tom Bopp, or witnessed a shuttle launch
when someone mentions Jodie Foster you think of Eleanor Arroway
you know the difference between pulsing and pulsating
you haven't seen the sun in a month
you've ever entered into a debate about whether Pluto is a planet
you can see clouds in the dark
you have RAMSDIS Online as well as several local weather stations bookmarked on your home computer
you wonder why July 20th isn't a national holiday
you know how to pronounce Arecibo
you can give the mass of the sun, the average distance between the Earth and the sun, the location of the Earth-moon barycenter, the mass of a Hydrogen atom, and the value of the gravitational constant off the top of your head
you find yourself crossing your "h"s on a regular basis
you can tell what time it is by looking at the sky -- but only at night
you know the exact value of the speed of light
you can quote the exact value of an Astronomical Unit from memory
you can quote the distance of a parsec in Astronomical Units, from memory
you can quote the distance of a light year in Astronomical Units, to four decimal places, from memory
you've ever referred to a gigalightyear
your friends take it as a given that you're tired
you've ever decorated your room with a reproduction of your favorite portion of the night sky
you have the URL for the Astronomy Picture of the Day memorized
you know how to say "armpit" in Arabic
you've ever convinced yourself that you can see the four Galilean satellites naked-eye
you've ever debated whether Charon is a planet
terms like "Gamma UMa", "Alpha Boo", and "OU Oph" make sense to you
you use Polaris to find the Big Dipper
you know Greek and Roman mythology
you haven't slept in two weeks, but you stay up all night anyway because it is clear
you know what NASA stands for
you can give the nominative and genitive of all of the constellations
-- even though you have no idea what a "nominative" or a "genitive" is
you know the difference between a constellation and an asterism
you can pronounce Betelgeuse, Uranus, Charon, and Cassiopeia at least two different ways each
someone calls you a "liar" and all you can think of is Orpheus and his harp
you cancel a date because it is your night to observe
. . . and then it rains
you can list the four Galilean satellites in order of size, distance from Jupiter, or likelihood of life
the word "Messier" makes you think of galaxies, nebulae, and clusters
you can pronounce Bootes
you can point precisely to any first- or second-magnitude star, even though it is completely overcast
you can point precisely to any first- or second-magnitude star, even if the star is below the horizon
a well-meaning but ignorant friend has ever introduced you as an astrologer
this same friend has ever asked how your study of cosmetology was going
you've caught errors on this list (if so, please let me know)
your favorite part of the day is when you get to go to bed
this list made sense to you
you've ever made a list titled "You Might Be an Astronomer if..."
http://astronomy.byu.edu/sdb/YouMightBeAnAstronomer.html