Hello Puppet World Domination, I have an important Security Protocol Announcement, or SP.
As you may or may not know, I have been secretly employed by our leader Kermit to monitor our club for security reasons. Due to Duolingo’s fiendish plans, Kermit may not remember this.
Due to our recent emergency, I have put Security Protocol ALPHA-8359.02674.51099 into action. All members of Puppet World Domination’s accounts, as well as the club’s software and databanks, have been subject to security scans round the clock for the past 24 hours.
I have successfully put up a firewall and activated Virus Scan-2947.26289.076.
DOOM, I apologize, but I have had to block you from all internal and important information pertaining to this club. You will not be able to access any of our record databanks or strategy databanks. I hope you realize this is for your own safety.
Kermit, while I cannot take any executive action to protect the club against any side effects the virus may be having on you, please know we are currently using all our resources to find the solution. A prototype is currently on his way to Elmo, along with the top notch security detail BETA-408. We expect results within the next 10 to 24 hours.
Puppet World Domination, this has been your security update. Thank you for your cooperation.