1. a4: Best Chess Opening!

lol, Sandstreampop ... rolling around!

Wrong! Wrong sandstreampop! You are so wrong with 7. Ngf3 that the word wrong was invented for you! Why? Because 7...Nxh5 is not forced. Black has 7...Ne4!! and white cannot play the all-important king-developing move 8.Ke2 because of the knight fork on g3, again winning white's queen!

How to win against 1. a4!

White plays 1. a4

Black plays 1. Point gun at white's crotch.

White resigns.

theRonster456: My god, I did not see that one coming! Of course, 7... Ne4!! is massive. The reason why I overlooked it must have been that it is not played nowadays. Not ever since it became evident that it was the most favourite move of Kim Jong II, the communist dictator of North Korea. But if you want to play like him - go ahead.

... communist.

That's not fair! At least, black could have the decency to point the gun at white's face - so white has the chance to give him the ultra-mega-death-stare, forcing a checkmate in 7.

This remminds me of glados. I think its the bizarr references.

Hey! I resent that "communist" crack! I may be a Marxist (Groucho), but I'm not a commie! Anyway, I happen to have Kim Jong Il right here in my livingroom and he tells me he has never even played this line. He counters the ridiculous 1a4 with 1...Na6! Observe:

Very well played by Kim Jong II. I see now why he is such a worthy adversary. I ran the key move 4... Rh7 through Rybka and my computer crashed. When I restarted it again, the Rybka program was nowhere to be found. I believe the move was so strong that Rybka saw no further point in analyzing chess anymore, and uninstalled itself.

Too bad that I have cooked up a new attack for him. I call it The Knight Infiltration:

Also, blacks bishop on g8 is the key concept of the attack. You switch the places of the knight and the bishop while your opponent is on the toilet to secure the victory.

Is there anyway that trolls like this can get locked?

Yes, but first they have to actually be trolls.

I have a question... when white plays 1. a4, can't black play 1. h5! to counter?

Oh No!

No, atangan, black cannot play 1...h5 because of 82.Rxc3 mate. But sandstreampop's game with Kim Jong Il was interesting. Black's Ra7 seems very risky, though. Aside from the complications after Nxg7#, white has the simple 4.d3 followed by Be3, attacking the hapless rook. In fact, Kim later deviated with the surprising 3...f6! as in this game:

a4 is not the best move even for a flanking game. Plus your discussion is trying to justify a4 will work against a Fool's Mate for black. Geez do a little more playing with the board. That Blitz Checkmate with the Bishop and Queen can also be avoided if you do e4 followed by f3. But seriously the originator of this article needs some real playing...

Ah yes... I forgot about that. However, I looked at sandstreampop's game with Kim Jong II and analyzed it. Suprisingly, I found out that black had a mate in 27!

Conzipe has a great point. White was not playing at his best when defending against blacks "Four Queens Storm" - had he utilized the a4 square instead of resigning, he would had clearly won. White would, after a4, had followed up by Ke2 and a mate in 32 (or 37, depending on if black would defend with the Heiniken or Budweiser defense).

I get the feel that we have some unbelievers in this thread. All I have to say to you is - that everyone is born a caterpillar. It is up to you, and no one else, to get out of that cocoon, spread your wings, and fly away like a beautiful butterfly.

1.a4life.

In other news, I have looked into ways that the white king might utilize the key g5 square to undermine black's defenses. Follow me as I display this new aggressive line!

White couldn't do that because he would have to move his King out of check.

But yes, Kxd1 isn't forced. He has another option:

I played one game of live chess where I played 1.a4!! and my opponent aborted!