A devastating opening for white.

Greetings, esteemed wood-pushers!

I'm fairly new to this game; and I've taken some real beatings in online play. It seems to me that most of my problems have arisen out of the opening/defense. And I've searched long and hard for lines that would set me up for a solid middle-game. I tried the ruy lopez, the KIA/KID, sicilian, queen's gambit, etc. But, after a LOT of research, I found a little-known attack that seems to have solved all of my problems as white. It's known as "The Bongcloud Attack." And my resluts, so far, are very promising!

I hope that other players who are new to the game will apply themselves to the study of this obscure (but deadly) attack. I have no doubt, after this game, that a skilled player could use it sucessfully at the highest level of play. Enjoy!

Yeah, Lenny Bongcloud and his followers haven't been active for awhile, but there's always someone new who thinks it's just the coolest thing ever.

This play can be interesting for speed chess, but if I ever got to move 7, I would stop trying to pin your king and build.  Why over extend and allow havoc when I know I can defend and build and you're in horrible position.  Also, if you make it to move 12... this is a huge mistake... you can either use the Bish to take his pawn on C2 or move the queen into much better position by taking the center pawn E4.

(in fact, if you move from 12, I see Mate pretty quickly.  Qe4, if King moves to B5, Pawn to D6, Ka6, Bxc2... No matter what he does your next move you put him in check Bd3, he has to take with bxd3, then Qxd3 Mate.)

If the King Moves Back, mate happens pretty quickly as well.

The king is the most powerful piece after all. :)

it also helps if you light a big fat cigar and blow the smoke at your opponent's face

but unfortunately, i can't do that online :(

You're right, it's devastating - Black must have been smoking something too, he had a nifty little mate in 4 on move 4 aready. Great opening, why not drop the participants at the next Candidates' tournament a line when the time comes? :)

The position after 4.Kg3; Black to move and mate in 4:

@Fallesafe
Ok, nice trolling of your opponenty 

I found this game to be laugh out loud funny. Unfortunately, it seems the humor of this game is lost on plenty of people who think you're serious and want to prove why moving only your king in the opening is bad. Thanks for sharing!

Just looking at the title of the thread I knew it was going to be this.

Yes, indeed, white is completely devastated in this opening.

What the heck is this? This is... This shouldn't even be called an opening. I like how you posted it but really? This opening is highly ineffective.

Actually, I remeber this opening.  We used to call it the LSD Gambit, but I do like Bongcloud attack better.

Well it is very funny in a way I will admit. It just seems very odd though and going away from the basic formation of openings lol.

Flush it pal you will get spanked every time anybody over 1200

Puff the magic dragons a better opening name for it.

It does work: 

Yes....just yes..

You live.

At your current level it doesn't matter much what openings you choose, as your opponent probably doesn't know how to punish your lack of king safety properly, also, you look like a 1300-1500 player.