I’m probably quitting.

(This is in Chess Openings because I’m mostly known here and people in General are completely oblivious to my existence)

I have an obsession with chess. I’m obsessed with my rating and my accuracy and everything in between. So, my mood gets really impacted when my rating dips. Throughout a period in February, my rating dipped from above 950 to 800. Over 150 points scrapped in two days. I was so painfully close to 1000 that it made me question my competence. Then, over most of 2023, I built my rating from 800 back up to 950. Then I started losing most of my games throughout the past 3 days. I’m now at 905. That doesn’t sound too bad, until I noticed that in most of my games I get a huge advantage, throw it, and lose through being absolutely clueless on what to do. Even tactical opportunities are hard for me to find and I’m 2200 on puzzles. My win rate is constantly getting lower. Being a full queen up, I get draws. Just look at my last game. I was 7 full points up, blundered a rook, and drew the game. I’ve tried everything people tell me to do. Study tactics, analyze my games, blunder check, but I never actually grasp it and I lose anyway, something that should be painfully easy to utilize. People keep telling me I could easily skyrocket to 1500, yet I lose easily to players a hundred points below my rating. Chess does nothing but make me mad. Plus, I have a life to live and I’m wasting it. I’m wasting hours arguing on forums against trolls who want attention. Unless I can magically get a good win rate against players 100 points worse than me, I’m probably quitting.

I’m not closing my account because I spent money on it and I could return sometime in the future, but I’m going to avoid chess for the time being. Thank you.

Fair, tbh I've been recently hooked on dance and tango. That's really been taking over for me more so than chess.

It's more social, passionate and less about calculation and competition.

I often feel the same thing that chess makes me mad or upset when I get something wrong.

I've seen it happen to a lot of people who try to deeply involve themselves with chess that they get to a point where they just can't anymore. I hoped that I would maintain the passion and interest.

Maybe I can play more chess when I feel more relaxed about it.

I think the problem with obsessions is that you can become so deeply entangled in it that it hurts you. Doing it correctly becomes so important that your obsession hurts you more than you enjoy it.

It can reach a point where you just want to let go because it's easier not to think about it.

Your rating will dramatically improve once your start using more time to make your moves. The gap between your puzzle rating and your Rapid is wider than it should be, a gap of ~900 to ~1000 is common.

After looking at a couple of your games, it's clear that your are playing to fast. You make moves without thinking. In 15-minutes games plus increment there is no excuse to lose the game in 20 moves or less. In both games I looked at, you have 16 minutes left on the clock. 16 minutes!

That means that you are playing so fast you are gaining time. For a 20 minutes game you have 55 seconds per move, instead you use 5 per move. Based on your puzzle rating, you have enough skill to play well. But you do need to use time to think.

Every move, you need to identify candidate moves and evaluate the position for each of them. Then you can pick the best one. It's a simple process. That will take more than 5 seconds per move. Sometimes 20 seconds, sometimes more than a minute. That's the reason why 15 minute games are recommended over shorter time games.

Your rating will dramatically improve once your start using more time to make your moves. The gap between your puzzle rating and your Rapid is wider than it should be, a gap of ~900 to ~1000 is common.

After looking at a couple of your games, it's clear that your are playing to fast. You make moves without thinking. In 15-minutes games plus increment there is no excuse to lose the game in 20 moves or less. In both games I looked at, you have 16 minutes left on the clock. 16 minutes!

That means that you are playing so fast you are gaining time. For a 20 minutes game you have 55 seconds per move, instead you use 5 per move. Based on your puzzle rating, you have enough skill to play well. But you do need to use time to think.

Every move, you need to identify candidate moves and evaluate the position for each of them. Then you can pick the best one. It's a simple process. That will take more than 5 seconds per move. Sometimes 20 seconds, sometimes more than a minute. That's the reason why 15 minute games are recommended over shorter time games.

Your rating will improve drastically once you take more time each move. Your puzzle rating is showing that you can play much better than you are doing right now (a gap of ~900 to 1000 is normal).

I looked at some of your games, specifically games you lost in the first 20 moves. You should not lose games in 20 moves or less when you have 15 minutes plus increment available. In both games I checked you lost with 16 minutes on the clock. Instead of almost a minute per move you only use 5 seconds.

Think before you make a move. It's a simple process. Take your time to consider candidate moves. Evaluate the position for each and then pick the best one. That can take 5 seconds, but most of the time you will need more time. Sometimes in complex positions more than a minute. You have that time available. That's the reason people recommend playing longer games. Without thinking about your moves, you will make mistakes. More than necessary.]

Test

Absolutely take a break. I had a similar situation where I was stuck at around 1100 and basically completely lost my enjoyment of the game so I took a break for a few weeks. Came back eventually in a much better state of mind, switched up my openings and now I'm sitting around the 1300-1400 mark.

Take a break. 1 - 2 weeks without playing or thinking about chess. After that time period, find your local chess club and go there, you'll have a lot of fun, and you will have a new perspective of chess, you'll think of it as more of social and fun game, rather than about rating.

sad

but fair, the reasons make sense

and especially not closing your account; if you do return ill probably remember you (it also builds longevity) and same for others i think

i left for some time around mid to late 2022 not using this site much

its also kinda insane how much a "chess openings" community has built that youre posting this here lol

as for the taking it way too serious bit... heres what i do fwiw

play very little

play long games, and actually think for a while

have the constant confidence that im slightly underrated

make plans

also, idc abt rating coz especially when youre playing a lot you tend to know what you "should" be rated, for me thats 1100 to 1120 ish rn and unless smth changes, if im above that i expect to go down and the reverse (i think)

and i would consider myself into chess even if im only playing twice a month, if i interact with it in other ways

and i would say that i really like this game (and i do have games which seriously make me frustrated) but i get over it (but i still remember that one 2022 or 2021 game where i played white in the advance caro, had a genious pawn promotion plan in the endgame and slightly misordered it lol)

and i like your "probably quitting", if you make decisive statements when you know they maybe wont be fully fulfilled, dont imo

Chess kind of sucks

I quit playing people my rating. Got tired of the dogfights not really fun. Now I just stomp people a few hundred points lower and do free coaching it floats my chess boat

idk why you have to always play people your same rating on this site lots of people want to play higher rated. Probably millions of people want to play higher rated but I often can’t find a single lower rated person in the world to play on this site

When every game is a dogfight and you have to be at 100% focus or you might as well not even play idk that’s pretty whack

nope

Everyone thinks I’m always trolling lol