To All Who Disrespect The Bongcloud Attack:

@rishabh11great, a member on my friends', list recently posted a forum topic titled I Couldn't Win When My Opponent's King Was On a8 Until He Blundered. In the thread, he posted the following game in which he proclaimed himself victorious:

But in my opinion, claiming that Black had won this game is an illicit lie! A common misconception among chess players — even masters, is that the objective of the game is to checkmate the enemy king. I did my level best to reason to Mr. Mohnot that his belief was scientifically unfounded and it was actually White who prevailed by virtue of having their king venture to the opposite rank of the board. Despite, my best Lenny Bongcloud impression and perfected grammar, my explanation was apparently excessively complicated for him to understand. 

To this, I expected Rishabh to announce a phrase along the lines of "Yes, you are correct, Bongcloud Master. I shall never disobey the teachings of the Bongcloud Opening ever again and should this instance ever again arise in one of my games, I shall resign immediately!" But no! Instead, he retorted some nonsensical blabber:

 Two things are flawed in his argument:

1. He says the word "troll" as if it were a bad thing.
2. He accuses me of straying off-topic even though my post was entirely pertinent to the topic at hand.

So, I continued:

The reality of my words seemed to sink in for Mohnot, so he visited my profile feed and uttered some of the rudest words I have ever heard: "BRUH stop trolling, Lenny was just 300."

And so, I proceeded to block him. Let this be a lesson to all who desire to attempt to refute the discoveries of the Bongcloud Society. They will be reprimanded severely with the criminal consequence of being blocked by 2Ke21-0.

Now, for those of you who wonder why reaching the other side of the board with your king is essential in a chess game, allow me to present a few analogies. In American football, the objective of the sport is to reach the endzone — the other side of the field — with possession of the ball. In basketball, the objective is to shoot the ball through the hoop which is conveniently on the other side of the court. In soccer, the objective is to kick the ball through the goal which is also conveniently located on the other side of the field. So we see that all globally accepted sports have a common theme of reaching the other side. If we want chess to be commonly recognized as a sport, should we not follow in the footsteps of more established ones? Imagine, if points were awarded in American football for a turnover. Imagine if points were awarded in Basketball for stealing the ball. A global catastrophe would ensue! The king is the focus of the game — the football, the basketball, the soccer ball. You need to get it to the other side, man!

Even the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side!

Good :tup

but I still see rishabh in your friends list tho

Friend request denied and blocked

Look again!

ok good

tut tut @rishabh11great

Some miserably unthoughtful people fail to understand that the Bongcloud is more than just an opening. And to accuse it in such a way... really does deserve a block from me.

I really lost it once he said - "BRUH, stop trolling. Lenny was just a 300". Being rude to the creator of Bongcloud? That's just...

This comment is an excellent summary of the original post on this topic. 

Feel free to chant "In b4 the lock" for the following comments because it is quite obvious what fate this thread will suffer. 

#inb4thelock

Yes. It most certainly will. But it has to arise before so happens! Disrespecting the bongcloud is no joke after all!

I do anticipate that a moderator reading this thread will allow it to become a hot topic for quite some time before dropping the lock bomb. That seems like the common practice around here.

Lenny Simply playing at brainwaves to complex for any computer or chess player to understand  the logic behind his moves.

Advaith has now connected his mind and soul while there's still us bozos

@Epiloque  is learning the way of Lenny

I sure do classify my Lenny Bongcloud impressions as perfect grammar. 

Lenglish or Lenny English 

just english

if you cannot understand the speech of lenny bongcloud then you do not speak english