You and I have been trying to explain this to the others, as if they don't get it. But that has been our mistake -- they do get it. Ignorance is not their problem. We are all born with a sense of justice, a sense of right and wrong. Some of us follow it, and others clearly do not. You can bring a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink. Having no psychological training, I cannot begin to fathom why some would defend the indefensible, but as we see here, they do. Maybe they crave attention? Maybe this really is an ego thing, but involving their egos, not ours. Maybe they get their kicks from seeing themselves as sticking it to the man, being nonconformists, too cool to be confined by the rules that would govern polite behavior. If this is what they need to get turned on, then maybe we need to feel sorry for them, but I doubt that continuing to explain our position will have any beneficial effect. Some simply will not see.
acknowledgment
Thanks for helping me try to explain common courtesy. I should know better at my age. If they haven't got it by the time they have the mental werewithal to play chess, then ... I agree that people will always put up this sort of 'defence' There seems to be a conclusion to draw here. Maybe it is better that some of these non-responders remain silent , because ...
Amen to that!
Chess is a game about 2 people matching wits. Its a game of honor, respect, and sportmanship. Its one of the very few games that actually teach valuable life lessons. Sadly though chess like everythig else in life is not immune to the changes in society. Chess is a microcosm of society and such we are now seeing young players that feel they need to carry over there "hard" image onto the chess board. failing to understand that that is not what chess is about. Its a sad fact that i have witnessed in tournaments. The best advice i can give you is to be yourself and continue to be polite and respectful.
much ado about nothing i think,everyone thinks that their way is right.me, i would always reply(if i got it of course),and therefore THATS the RIGHT way(for me) enjoyed the debate have fun
Apart from Vance you are all missing the point. It takes seconds to type gg or ty if you congratulate someone you have been playing a game of chess with for weeks . If we all took the option to ignore a polite comment we may as well play against a robot. This is a good website and I believe part of the reason for this is that most of you are decent polite people. Thanks to all who responded
This point has already been raised: some people don't have their chat box enabled.
There are two ways of looking at this (as illustrated in this discussion) :
EITHER behavioural norms are universal across time, culture, language and activity
OR behavioural norms change with time - and also vary according to culture, language and activity.
There are two ways of looking at this (as illustrated in this discussion) :
EITHER behavioural norms are universal across time, culture, language and activity
OR behavioural norms change with time - and also vary according to culture, language and activity.
Yes, you are right; the usual rules do not apply to Neanderthals. The rest of us live in the 21st Century, with access to the Internet. Global community.
If we all took the option to ignore a polite comment we may as well play against a robot.
There doesn't exist a robot that can emulate the moves played by people. Playing against a person is different from playing against a machine even without conversation.
Did you read original and subsequent postings , this debate is not about playing against machines. And why take a selection ?
Did you read original and subsequent postings , this debate is not about playing against machines. And why take a selection ?
You are the one who brought up that point about robots in the first place. You said: "If we all took the option to ignore a polite comment we may as well play against a robot." And the response you got made perfect sense: playing against a robot is not the same as playing against a human who refuses to interact/talk/socialize, so your analogy doesn't hold.
I will never understand players who do not acknowledge a simple well done or good game , a simple thank you would suffice.It's not as if there is little time to reply after playing your opponent for days or weeks. Most players will congratulate or respond , I will continue to praise anyone who plays a great game .
You even try to reason about this, but you can't see the simple possibility that whoever you are playing might...
1) not have their chat enabled
2) need to answer a phone and forgot about responding
3) be quickly logging off as their boss/wife approaches
4) have an emergency to attend to
5) not speak English
...a million other possibilities.
Of course I can see some of the reasons why people dont respond. I was talking about the people who obviously speak English (looking at their profile) and choose not to respond. Why do you think that I do not acknowledge the host of legitimate possibilities there are for not being able to respond ? You're not understanding .
Your list , though, is amusing. So much so that I will add to it
6) be about to expire.
And please don't fixate on robots. My analogy was figurative not scientific.
Happy New Year Underobs. You were right last year, you are still right this year, but, as U2 would say, "Nothing changes on New Year's Day". There will never be a shortage of those who argue just to argue. Their lips move, yet they are not saying anything. They are best ignored ... but, in keeping with the theme of this forum, at least with an acknowledgement. Almost a contradiction!
Of course I can see some of the reasons why people dont respond. I was talking about the people who obviously speak English (looking at their profile) and choose not to respond. Why do you think that I do not acknowledge the host of legitimate possibilities there are for not being able to respond ? You're not understanding .
Your list , though, is amusing. So much so that I will add to it
6) be about to expire.
Let's assume they speak English, what about all the other possibilities? You exclude just one possibility--the language barrier--then jump to the conclusion that they are ignoring you?
I can see that you acknowledge those possibilities, but how can you exclude them and arrive at the conclusion that certain people are ignoring you?
In other words, imagine this scenario: Let's say there's a group of people who didn't reply back--how do you know which of these people are deliberately ignoring you? (Don't tell me you just check their profile to make sure they speak English--like I've said, there are a ton of additional possibilities. How do you exclude all of those possibilities?)
I'm curious to hear your answer (or Vance's, if he actually bothers to address the point).
A little background reading on views about 'politeness'.
the-cultural-quotgood-luckquot-dilemma
good-game-then-what-do-you-mean-by-gg
This exchange was particularly fascinating ...
Someone wrote: i *hate* it if I blunder and lose (or opp blunders and loses) and opp says gg. gg imho shoud be reserved for good games. [here i play only corr so the case doesnt arise here]
Erik wrote: what should they say in this case? :P
Someone wrote: hs. [handshake].
Erik wrote: ahhhhh... if you had said "hs" to me i would have thought it meant "Holy Shnikees" (said in a Chris Farley voice).
Wow, if someone wrote "hs" to me I would have thought the first word was 'horse' and the second word isn't 'roses'.
It's just politeness, and whilst I do appreciate it when an opponent responds, I won't get particularly worked up if I receive no response - it doesn't really matter that much.
Did you read original and subsequent postings , this debate is not about playing against machines. And why take a selection ?
You are the one who brought up that point about robots in the first place. You said: "If we all took the option to ignore a polite comment we may as well play against a robot." And the response you got made perfect sense: playing against a robot is not the same as playing against a human who refuses to interact/talk/socialize, so your analogy doesn't hold.
I will never understand players who do not acknowledge a simple well done or good game , a simple thank you would suffice.It's not as if there is little time to reply after playing your opponent for days or weeks. Most players will congratulate or respond , I will continue to praise anyone who plays a great game .
You even try to reason about this, but you can't see the simple possibility that whoever you are playing might...
1) not have their chat enabled
2) need to answer a phone and forgot about responding
3) be quickly logging off as their boss/wife approaches
4) have an emergency to attend to
5) not speak English
...a million other possibilities.
OK, I will address this, but since I am not the one who started this forum, I am not notified when addition posts are received. It is only at odd times that I check this at all. Speaking just for myself, I would not rush to a judgement based on one message receiving no reply. Those reasons you gave may apply, as, you point out, might others. But if a pattern emerges, then that is another story.
Just recently this happened with an upstanding citizen, from your country, in fact. I believe we played two games, and in both had a nice conversation, and in both said something about playing again. After the second, I sent a friend request and another game challenge. No reply to either. OK, holiday season, whatever, no big deal. But after the holidays I sent a message asking if she'd be up for another game. A simple "no" would have sufficed, but nothing at all, while I see her posting other comments (yes, in English). So I withdrew the challenge and let her know how rude she was being. Then she replied.
Good idea -- turn this around into something about my ego. The best defense is a good offense? We all love keeping an open mind, and balance in hearing all sides of an argument. Do not let this blind you to the fact that 1+1 will always be 2, and not responding will always be rude, no matter what you or anybody else might say to the contrary. And it is rude not because I say so; not because I have some special privilege to make this decision, but rather because it is a clear violation of the golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
yes , that's dandy, but the other golden rule is: judge not, that you be not judged