Beating Gary Kasparov

What would you do if you just beat Gary Kasparov?

I'd probably wake up and eat breakfast.

I'd have a vagina parade!

Offer a rematch

Call my Mum and tell her, doubt anyone else could be bothered to pretend that they care.

...

At this point I would be wiping my breakfast off my screen.

Are we beating him with a chessboard, or on the chessboard?

 What do you think? Beat him in a game of chess.

That would not be fair, to beat him up under the pretense of playing chess.

no i think he means taking the bishop and slaming it into his temple or beating him at chess by using the bongcloud

Politely shake hands, say "good game", sign his scoresheet if he wants me to, put my blindfold back on, and proceed to make my move on the next board.

Gah.. these people have no absolute sence of logic and common sense! I would wonder why Kasparov lost to me and I would immediatly conclude that Kasparov was having a mental breakdown and now was in the hospital.

OH, and I also agree with the jet fighter or something

I would think he let me win ^^

Have sex with his wife.

:-)

 That was the only reply that made sense. I am around a 1500 and he's around a 2800!

Hilarious... 

Why bother getting drunk? just stick to the gobbledygook.