28...Nd3
Big Dog #2 Final (thegreatauk - Martin0)

Passers on a+b file, yes this is completely hopeless for white. It's nice to see I'm not the only strong player who opens terribly against Martin!

gg
I agree that the opening is bad for white, but I'm really not sure how bad it is. If white would somehow manage to get his king to c1, then his king is safe, the witch can help to develop the rook from a1 and white can gain tempos by attacking pieces when he plays on the j-side. Achieving that might not be easy though.
I would probably have tried 5.f3. It's a solid and flexible move. One plan is Nd3, Bb3, Kd1, Kc1. One backup plan is Nd3, Qf2, Ke1, Be2, Kd1, Kc1. If black puts his witch on f4 at some point white probably needs to exchange a piece for it, but as long as black ends up capturing on f4 with a pawn it's probably more or less fine for white.
8.Qd1 looked a bit weird. In my view the king wants the d1 square available and this walks into a pin along the same diagonal as my bishop. After 8...Nd6 it is hard to protect the e-pawn. Moving the queen back with Qe1 looks bad and Qa4 runs into b5 with tempo. Still I would have tried something like 9.Qa4 b5 10.Qb3 c6?! 11.Kf1
I will say though that after 11.Wf5 I need to be careful. If whites rook somehow comes to e1, I have a lot of weaknesses on the e-file. My knight on e4 is weak, my pawn on e5 is weak, my queen is attacked and my king is there. It is 4 weaknesses and all need 1 move to be dealt with. Luckily it takes 3 moves for whites rook to get to e1 (also counting the move for whites queen to move away from e2). So if I deal with 3 weaknesses before the rook gets there I can deal with the fourth after the rook gets there.
After 16...Qb4 there were no real reason for white to allow the Qc4+ fork. I just got another pawn for free.
25.Bxe7 leads to a forcing line that is completely hopeless for white, but since I was 2 pawns up I would be winning regardless.
31.Ke1, 31.Kg2 or 31.Ni3 were moves where white at least temporary will be able to defend his b-pawn, but white would still be loosing 2 pawns down and with a witch against a bishop, where the witch is a lot worse.
d4