Are you a whimpy chess player?

If so, click the back button on your browser now.

Do you play gutsy attacking chess, play to win at all cost, are willing to put yourself on the edge of defeat to grab that 1-0? Then The Black Pawn Mafia is the group for you. We are a fast growing new chess.com group (about 50 members in under a week) that supports the reasonably uncommon art (these days) of dynamic, tactical, agressive chess.

Members of all skill levels and ratings are welcome in our group, we have players ranging from under 1000 to 2600+. We are already active in both team matches and vote chess, along with our own group ladder. Our first group newsletter will be hitting the presses March 14 and will include annotated games, tournament reports, articles, a puzzle contest and more. On March 28th we are hosting our first official members only open tournament with the first prize being a one year gold membership.  

Currently the group is open to the general public, anyone who would like to join is welcome but once we have a larger member base we will be restriciting entry to member referalls only. So, if The Black Pawn Mafia seems like an organazation you'd be interested in joining, give us a look: http://www.chess.com/groups/home/black-pawn-mafia 

                                          Thanks for your time,

                                                              Kyle Tilley (nmplayer)

I hope Kyle (nmplayer) won't mind if I put in a plug for a group I'm just about to form: The Wimpey Chess Players. For former workers and associates of Wimpey Builders (now Taylor Wimpey plc).

Just kiddin'! It's actually for wimps ...

A person who is regarded as weak or ineffectual: "the impression that he is a colorless, indecisive wimp, and not a leader among men" James J. Kilpatrick.

intr.v. wimped, wimp·ing, wimps

To be timid or cowardly. Usually used with out: wimped out and refused to jump off the high diving board.

wimpy - weak and ineffectual

wimpish

forceless, unforceful - lacking force; feeble; "a forceless argument"

So if the Black Pawn Mafia rejects your application, you know where you'll be welcome. Kyle, sorry about the interruption. Carry on. You were saying ...

Wouldn't The Whiney Chess Players be more appropriate? *slinks off before he gets an earbashing

You mean The Whingey (or Whingeing) Chess Players, surely?

Would it be worthwhile trying to combine these - or better to keep them in three separate groups, I wonder?

The Wimpy, Whiney, Whingey Chess Commotion (or www.chess.com, for short).

I'd be happy to join the Wimpy, Whiney, Whingey Chess Commotion as long as we have a policy of allowing our members to resign when deemed appropriate, take as long over each move as required and discuss topics in the forum such as resigning, drawing, chess piece manufacture, vacation time and the English weather.

I think it would be best to combine the groups to avoid multiple membership - we would all have a lot of wimping and whingeing to do, so it would be best to keep it all centralised.

Did you get that rain last night? Was it 2 inches? It certainly wasn't a drop less than 1.5 inches: I'll stake my chess reputation on that!

I wouldn't want to step on the toes of the other specialist groups in these fields. Chess Athenians, for instance, whose policies include ...

1. Anyone who seriously thinks they should be in this group - shouldn't be.
2. We are the group that CAN RESIGN - "any time, any place any where".
   
3. Our nemesis - the Chess-Spartans - are rumbling for a [...] show-down. 

Have you no shred of sanity left artfizz? The sheer dissatisfaction of such a concentrated conglomeration of wh-energy could destroy the world as we know it. Are you prepared to take such a risk?

"You know, I just can't believe things have gotten so bad in this site that there's no way back. I mean, sure, it's messy, it's crowded, it's polluted, and there are people who would just as soon step on your face as look at you. But come on! There's gotta be a few sparks of sweet humanity left in this burned-out bird. We just gotta find a way to mobilize it!"  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097428/quotes

The chess wimps can claim Lasker as their patron: he said that the way to refute a gambit was to accept it (it might offend someone if you said no) but then to give the material back. Pure wimpishness ... 

We'd love to play you whimpy guys in a match sometime ;).

You might be too big and rough for us. Our group isn't so much for playing chess as talking about it and discussing the ills of the world.

We aren't all one-dimensional though! We will offer potential solutions to all that is wrong with the world and whinge when people don't take our ideas seriously.

...
What are we talking about now?

Not now

I have no idea

WIMP A subatomic particle that has a large mass and interacts with other matter primarily through gravitation.     [w(eakly) i(nteracting) m(assive) p(article).]  http://www.thefreedictionary.com/WIMP

buuuuuuuuump.....!

From: Yet Another Interested Party

Subject: Your new group

Art,

I am interested to join your new group called:

" The Wimpey Chess Players"

I have no backbone but lots of bones, just have to sort them out.

Momentum is building ...

I'm an inveterate chess player, myself.

So you're a vertebrate chess player, then?