I'll run around and screach in the background. Monkeys always make movies better (I've already got my Hollywood shades see?)
"Never work with animals or humans!" - look what Planet of the Apes did to Charlton Heston's career.
Good idea. (Great graphic!) These days, a single episode of Friends probably employs a team of around 35 writers. We would bring in specialists to clean up the spelling, punctuation and grammar - if that was thought essential.
Better yet, we'll get Val Kilmer to play me, and I'll play Cheater_1 (he's bound to have the best lines).
I was hoping Leonardo DiCaprio might be available to play Cheater_1. For Billium, we're gonna need a BIG name. Danny DeVito (Get Shorty) - what do you think?
That would certainly be a new one for me. Usually I get Jon Voight. I'm somewhere inbetween David Spade and Val Kilmer, right around Kevin Bacon, David Bowie, and Anthony Michael Hall. I also hear Axl Rose quite a bit. Never been compared to Danny DeVito before.
.. When suddenly we discover, Cheater and Erik. They are sitting at a table and are being serve with drinks by lovely ladies with beautiful smiles and provocative attitudes. In the background is a Mambo band playing full steam.
The camera zooms in the conversation...
artfizz wrote:
CHEATER-1: THERE WILL NEVER BE AN AMERICAN U.S. PRESIDENT BECAUSE AMERICAN KIDS ARE TOO FAT, LAZY AND UNEDUCATED.
ERIK: Unless ...
Before 'Erik' can complete the sentence, we pull back a bit more to reveal the decor, and it gradually becomes apparent that this is the early 1940's and the two characters are in fact: Cheater-1's grandfather and Erik's grandfather.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch ...
Baseballfan (to new member): Your cheque did not have a clear signature. You've got to re-sign it.
Member of Team Sparta: What! Are you telling someone they have to resign? Don't listen to him. Never resign!
Legalistic, Pedantic Guy: The only thing worse than NOT resigning - is telling someone else to resign.
Baseballfan: But I only ...
LPG: Sh!
Baseballfan: said ...
LPG: Sh! Sh!
etc.
The "action" switches to the newly forming nation teams where ...
PLAY CHESS!
Hey, if they are thinking about making a movie about Facebook, why not one about Chess.com?
I don't think that this one was smiling,lol!
Hey, I know I'm not well known, but I would still like to be in the movie!! can I stand in the background? ooo! I'll be a stunt-extra for Eric! I could fit in a Kermit suit!!
I will play AWARDCHESS! If he will be agree to share his leader's role at www.chess.com with me...
To get around budget probelms, just use some product placement.
"Do you have problems with limescale, rust, and ground in dirt on your chess pieces... ...Look what it does to this pawn!" *5 seconds later*...good as new! 
"I also found this new grime resign variety!"
Hey, I know I'm not well known, but I would still like to be in the movie!! can I stand in the background? ooo! I'll be a stunt-extra for Eric! I could fit in a Kermit suit!!
Thanks for volunteering, clbcrosby. Didn't I see you in the Crosby Show? There will undoubtably be dangerous, dare-devil, death-defying stunts that it would not be judicious to risk Erik's safety upon; count yourself at the front of the queue where these come up. Motorbikes, ring of fire, wall of death: ring any bells?
I don't believe there is a mechanism for people to play themselves on chess.com. Having a second account - which is what would be currently necessary to accomplish this - is explicitly forbidden.
According to Doc_MD's characterisation, "AWARDCHESS could be like Yoda - impossible to understood but nevertheless wise!"
I assume you are fluent in Yodish? ... although Yoda shifts around sentence elements, he doesn't do so randomly. He tends to use object-subject-verb word order*, as in "Princess Leia, Han Solo digs," and he does not break up syntactic units, like preposition phrases or infinitive phrases. For example, he keeps together phrases such as "to continue your training" and "to the dark side." http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/subject-verb-object-order.aspx
Welcome aboard!
To get around budget problems, just use some product placement.
"Do you have problems with limescale, rust, and ground in dirt on your chess pieces... ...Look what it does to this pawn!" *5 seconds later*...good as new!
"I also found this new grime resign variety!"
A promising start, sstteevveenn. There must be literally dozens of products out there that have a natural affinity with chess:
The British Bloke: I say, you chaps, form an orderly queue. Alphabetically, then by population density, and ability to drink tea.
The American Guy: Organization and a whole lot of cooperation -- not something I would want to rely on when it comes to online communities and international language barriers. Let's just send in some chess.com staff advisors.
The Scottish Chap : Och Aye! This is chess.com yer'rrre talking about - not some gun-totin', pot-smokin', long-haired bunch of hippies!
Once we get these engines to start - which they willnae at the moment - I shouldn't be at all surprised if players from ALL teams started leaving and rejoining independently - without any centrallised choreography - in an almost sublime, mystical chaos of juggling until the delicate balance is achieved, Jimmy!
The Irish Fella: No, master says "Sit" one must sit? Screw that, I teach you like the dog that you are, thou shalt never change my way of being, for I am!!
NEED A FEW MORE INOFFENSIVE STEREOTYPES HERE ...
The debate about chatting during game play is just warming up in the next (chat) room ...
Wazzzzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah?
Mad_Tom: Hi!
Plato: Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
Even_Madder_Tom: I was just trying to be friendly.
Aristotle: Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.
Tom: Lol! HaHa. What?
Plato: You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.
Tom: You're from Athens, right?
Socrates: I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world.
Tom: OK then. Answer me this: Plato says I should have resigned; Aristotle says I shouldn't have. Who is right?
Nietzsche: It is nobler to declare oneself wrong than to insist on being right - especially when one is right.
Tom: I've just made a dumb move. Can I change it?
Aristotle: This only is denied to God: the power to undo the past.
Tom: Which chess.com group is the best?
Nietzsche: The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
Tom: Is there anybody out there who understands English?
The scene dissolves and we find ourselves in ...
Awesome wait ill change my pic to a monkey. Two monkeys! Sounds like a zoo!
Working Title: Play It Again, Erik! (This is a nod to the unresolved tension surrounding undo/replay moves.)
I see a quest for a fabled 'Maltese Dark Knight' going on in the background. This would enable development of a 'femme fatale' character - one of whom has already been suggested. The precise material that this knight is made of would be part of the intrigue.