People keep hitting on me wtf

So.. despite the fact that my profile picture does not show my face and the fact that I am actually indeed male over my many games and years on chess.com men have consistently added me as a friend and proceeded to make passes at me though dm. WTAF!! Honestly wtaf is wrong with men. This has been constant and relentless enough that I've actually taken to making a post about it,

This is a chess site ffs, I mean in what world and how desperate are you to make a pass at me on a goddammit chess site of all places purely based on assumption of my gender seeing nothing else then a pair of feet in pointe shoes.

My friend list is now full of mostly insanely desperate men who have no intention of the study or play of chess but with every intention of bedding me on a desperate and pure assumption that I am a woman, and a good looking one at that.

ITS ABSOLUTELY F××KING INSANE. TINDER EXISTS. BUMBLE EXISTS.

I am a male ballet, chess and figure skating enthusiast you lunatics and I come here to PLAY AND DISCUSS CHESS. Even had I been born a woman (and an attractive one at that) it's creepy, unwelcome and disturbing. By all means drop us a friend request for anything CHESS related but it's apparent that half of my friends list wanted one thing and I'm sorry to disappointed boys but I haven't got one.

The pure desperation of it is ludicrously pathetic and its disrespectful to the chess community and to women, which I have stated I am not one of, rather hilariously. Christ almighty!!

Well, nobody's perfect

So ...

And people want to claim that women aren't discriminated against in the chess world and therefore that women's titles and events are unfair to men.

Interesting talking point you raise there. Women are definitely discriminated in chess and many areas of life however I have never really heard it bought up that women's titles and events are unfair to men 🤔I must look into this phenomenon.

In my own personal opinion I have it the other way around it that I feel title's such as WGM and women's events are actually unfair to women since chess is a purely intellectual rather than physiologically athletic sport that men and women should be on a level playing field and should compete with each other without the segregation of titles and competitions that are necessary in physical sport.

Although historically no woman has come near to the level of male grandmasters in competitive chess but perhaps that has also to do with the discrimination and (therefore also) lack of representation of women in chess. Food for thought indeed.

"Should" is the key word. On a level playing field women would be able to compete with men, but the issue is that it's not and never has been a level playing field. Women's titles and events are one small measure to try and encourage greater participation by women. How we make the game more welcoming for them by addressing the sort of remarks you get here on Chess.com because people think you're a woman is perhaps much more important thing while at the same time much harder to do.

report them.

You could report the creepier ones where they might be violating one of the terms of service, but some of those requests might just appear to be friendly and polite communications: the fact that the sender only sends those sort of messages to accounts that seem to be women is not really actionable under the terms of service and I don't even know if the Support personnel could have a meaningful discussion with them about what they're doing in that sort of case.

Here's another interesting example: @AlexMids created an account 10 days ago, was super new to chess but thought she'd give it a go after encouragment from a friend, came on here and posted in https://www.chess.com/forum/view/general/any-tips-for-a-girlie-from-england-please Got lots of responses but closed her account yesterday, probably because she was getting the same sort of thing in her personal messages as @Yorshka90 does (her profile photo - now removed - would not have helped).

Your friends are all desperate men that don't want to play chess interesting group of friends for someone that claims to be here to just play chess. Maybe you should go on a dating site to find the right GUY lol. If you want to play Chess, you do not need to have a large list of friends that you don't even know. Interesting statement that "Although historically no woman has come near to the level of male grandmasters in competitive chess" You should read more I suggest a book about chess by Judith Ploger. She was a grandmaster at age 15.

bro calm down💀☠

Perhaps the OP is not aware that you can delete people from your "friends" list, and even block them from sending messages? Try it, you might like it.

Okay guys chill out ffs

Firstly.. if somebody I've recently played and had a good match with adds me as a friend I will in good faith believe that they are willing to discuss and play the game of chess which unfortunately has almost never been the case. This sounds like victim blaming. You are assuming I'm leading these guys on to build my "friend list" when I am assuming I'm building a list of friends to discuss and play chess with, which I am very disappointed in when time after time I'm just being hit on and have unfortunately yet to actually find someone that... JUST WANTS TO TEACH ME, DISCUSS AND PLAY CHESS!! ffs!!

Secondly I do delete them from my friends list.

And in regards to cutekaylas comment, no. It is unfortunate (perhaps) but no woman in history has come even close to Magnus Carlson and the historic grandmasters. That's just a fact.

But I mean if anyone wants to add me as a friend to teach me chess, please do.

Hey babe. Shnookums. Sweetie.

yea

and who exactly is "hitting" on u?

u can report them if they r actually hitting

You people have friends?

.

It's weird, but I kinda feel bad lol. You gotta be pretty lonely to be that desperate

Just block and ignore