A big part of my problem is performance anxiety. I spend all of my time studying and playing bots but can't gain any ground because I never play real players. I don't want to go at it losing every game.
How to get better at chess: a guide for beginners

A big part of my problem is performance anxiety. I spend all of my time studying and playing bots but can't gain any ground because I never play real players. I don't want to go at it losing every game.
What could help is telling yourself that as you lose at first, your rating will get closer to your actual rating (reflecting your real skills) and you will start playing against opponents at your level. You will then start winning more often. I am a beginner and that is what I told myself when I started so I do not beat myself too much over losing to stronger players. Hope that helps.
This advice comes from Steve Lopez of Chessbase.
1) STUDY TACTICS
Don’t do 100 puzzles a day. Do a dozen, and seek to _understand_ them. He suggests Yasser Seirawan’s ‘Winning Chess Tactics’ book and Chernev’s and Reinfeld’s How to See Three Moves Ahead book. (There may be better books. It’s an older article.)
2) STUDY ENDGAMES
You have to know endgame principles. Period. I really like Jeremy Silman’s endgame book, but the author of the article says to check out Seirawan’s ‘Winning Chess Endings.’
3) STUDY SOME POSITIONAL CHESS
What do you do when there are no tactics? Strategize. Do you want the knights or the bishops? The light or the dark squares? Or just one square? Lopez suggests Pandolfini’s ‘Weapons of Chess,” but I like Silman’s ‘Complete Book of Chess Strategy’ better.
4) DON’T DEVOTE A LOT OF TIME TO OPENING STUDY
Club players get out of book quickly, and do you know what to do when you’re out of book lines, even if you’ve remembered them perfectly? You have to understand the position. That’s where strategy will help in the middle game.
5) PLAY AS MUCH CHESS AS YOU CAN
You have to apply what you’ve learned, and the best way to do this is to play chess.
6) IF YOU SOEND MONEY ON MATERIALS, USE THEM
7) RECORD EVERY MOVE OF EVERY GAME YOU PLAY
8) STUDY YOUR GAMES AFTER YOU’VE PLAYED—ESPECIALLY YOUR LOSSES
Pick your games apart yourself, then have an engine or stronger player do it too.
9) GET HELP FROM STRONGER PLAYERS
That includes help from players and computers. He strongly suggests going to a chess club and playing IRL.
10) PLAY OVER / STUDY THE GAMES OF OTHERS
Play through the games slowly. Understand each move. I like the book ‘Logical Chess, Move by Move,’ by Chernev. He presents Grandmaster games and tells you why each and every move was played. I learned so much with that book.
11) DON’T KICK YOURSELF WHEN YOU LOSE
Mistakes are a good thing and usually the best teachers. We have a negativity bias, which means we remember bad things more strongly than good. It’s a survival mechanism. You want to get better? Get out, play a stronger player, and lose.
I’ve been out of Chess for a while, and I’m very rusty. Am going to apply Mr Lopez’s principles and get back into “shape.”
Best wishes!