Loosing to win and dealing with defeat


I just switched to "Daily" games since I was getting killed right out of the opening. You can use all sorts of opening aids (books, videos, databases) and postpone the inevitable...LOL. Seriously though, you really get a chance to think over each move and the hope is that some of the knowledge you acquire will help in shorter games as well. Good luck!

i started with a default 800 rating and lost every game horribly
switched to daily for a bit to give me a bit of breathing room
started some “study” watching videos and whatnot and eventually found john bartholomews videos
got “bobby fisher teaches chess” (the simple back rank tactics book) and that alone helped quite a bit
stopped playing daily (was, ironically, beginning to get impatient and played like it was blitz; and started playing 30 min games)
first “breakthrough” was learning how to “accept” losses by embracing the real learning- going over losses and not letting myself off the hook after games and really challenging my thought processes as i played a game
followed advice to start playing classical time controls and otb rated games- this was the real help
playing a game where every move engaged total focus and commitment and then going over these games with a coach
tactics books, master games, endgame techniques, selected positional work selected by coach to work on for homework, all of this set a pretty decent foundation to develop
but the very first step was “embracing” losses and being honest and “strict” and consistent going over games immediately after the conclusion

I just kept playing tbh
If I started losing a lot I stopped and waited for the next day and played again. I never used things like books

Dear Chessfriend,
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