1,000 signs you play chess too much.

You see a question mark in an exam and assume the examiner made a mistake

You think of life as a chess game.

(And yes, I do sometimes.)

You won't use cutlery because you're afraid of forks

you're forever putting things off

that's happened

When you go to the bank to get a check, you say, "Check? I am not in check!

1305. You spend 8 hours a day inventing a wierd opening.

1306. You have 20 chess engines on your computer and you still try to invent one.

1307. You underpromote to rook.

1308. When you're at a family dinner, you start a talk like "What is your favorite chess opening?". Ah yes, you're 2000 Elo and the second best player is your uncle Reginald who is 77-years-old, who haven't played chess since the nineties and who used to be 1300.

1309. Everytime someone make something wierd in which he spends thousands of dollars to get a better life, you call this a gambit.

1310. You have a secret library in which there are 1000 chess books.

1311. You achieve 2900 Elo.

1312. Everytime you see a bishop in his violet dress you say : "Could you stop being violet and just be black or white?"

1313. You are planning to hack the Indian spammers' computer.

You make this : http://www.chess.com/forum/view/chess-openings/massive-opening-hurtheal

Wow.  That says it all.  Of course, they left out the Wakiki Humperdink.  Understandable, since it rarely works.

You're in the same room with the person who you're playing an Online Chess game. This happened yesterday to me!!

lol.

Wow.  Spooky.  That's happened to me, too -- twice!  Surreal, isn't it?

unreal more like.

Quote #1313. "E=mc3". Courtesy of planet Z4. 

You dream about playing chess

kaynight wrote:

It takes weeks between posts.

Lol

That is pretty awesome. Where you guys complete strangers who were playing in a public library or somewhere? Or did you know each other

If you're someone who keeps in touch with an out of town relative, partly by means of online chess games and chess chats, and that relative comes to visit you and you're both on your computers at the same time in the living room (because What kind of troglodyte just "sits" and "talks" any more?!) and you get an alert that someone has just moved in one of your games, and you see it is your relative, well, Naturally you don't Say anything, because the relative might pick up a subtle clue to your diabolic plan in just the tone in your voice if you try to say, very casually,  "Oh, I see you've just moved ... hmm ...."  

So you just take your time to select the Perfect move to close in for the "kill," and you push Submit Move, and then you sit back quietly, chuckling evilly to yourself under your breath about the victory that will be yours when you spring your clever Trap and deliver the coup de grace to your lovable, but clearly naiive and unsuspecting relative -- a person who's already by now a little creeped out by the fact that you just Moved without saying Anything, and then ...

You know .... when you think about it That way, it is kind of ...... odd ...

I do hope that answers your question. :-) 

you spam hi

Your mood depends on whether Carlsen or Anand wins their game (this doesn't count for any relative to these persons)