1000 things a dumb chess player would do

984: watches subway surfers on the side of his match

985: "Time is money" so when you're running out of time you try to buy it from the arbiter

986: they call the knight the horse, and the rook the castle

987: plays like the kings in Top Chess

988: doesn't play bongcloud

989: does checkmate instead of en passant

990: watches minecraft parkour alongside chess

991: thinks its a fork when all the forked pieces are protected and they're pawns

992: thinks represents kebab

993:thinks represents thumbtack

994: never learned chess but playing

995: doesn't follow up correctly after brilliants

996: thinks bishops are called priests

997: castles with a queen

998: does a4 and h4 to develop their rooks

999: walk into a royal fork without being forced to

1000!!!!: Asking a male monarch to castle

1001. Tries to checkmate a queen

tries scholar's mate right after they learn it

1003. trades 8 pawns for a queen becuase 9>8

1004: Trades 2 minor pieces for a rook and pawn because 6=6

1005: Thinks a queen is MUCH more valuable than three minor pieces

1006. Chooses the experienced rating and then immediately goes to hyper bullet.

1007: put chess pieces in their spaghetti... in the middle of a tournament.

19. Try solving a puzzle and then completly overthinking it, even tho theres mate in 1or 2

1009. Make a typo

Is a top chess king and purposely blocks the bishop and thinks knights a re better then bishops

i mean 1011

1012) en passants a rook

1013: always tries to play tennison gambit