5,000 Signs You Don't Know Enough About Chess

Both actually happened to me last thursday:

2960. White plays e4 and black responds with e4. When I say that e4 is not possible as an answer to e4, he answers yes it is, you don't know.

2961. White plays e4 and black responds with e4. When I say that e4 is not possible as an answer to e4, he answers ok, then e5-e7...

2962. You like apples.

2963: You've never played chess.

2964: You think you know everything about chess.

2965. You think it is possible to master chess and every possibility. 
2966. And you think you will do it. 

2967. And you have experienced every single sign posted here (yes, all 2000+)

i can do  that easy in mabye 20 mins (joke)

2969. You think you can learn to play like chess engines.

2970: Chess is scored like golf so your rating of 1 means your the best in the world.

2971: you don't know how to stop with repetitive moves.

2972: You play until mate.
2973: You think Dmitry Andreikin won't win the Candidates

2974: In time pressure in a team game, you accidentaly press your teammate's clock, resulting in him losing on time.

2975. You tell your opponent your strategy, thinking that he will be confused.
2976. You've won every game you've played--against yourself
2977. You just now found out about the World Championship
2978. You don't watch the World Championship live analysis because it's too mainstream
2979. You get a "Top Unrated" trophy in a tourney when you're the only unrated in your section and you got 1/2 a point in byes.
2980. You get a 2 point score because you asked for 4 1/2 point byes
2981. You always ask for byes on as many rounds as possible
2982. You offer a draw on move 1
2983. You don't like chess
2984. You think checkers is better for the mind than chess
2985. You only play chess because the pieces look coooooooool

Let me ask you gentlemen something. With 2,985 signs you don't know enough about chess, how can you be so sure that some of those haven't been repeated? Making the number 2,985 less than what it really is?

Whos up for reading through these?

I know, right? It is through this infamous thread that I created a parady of it. http://www.chess.com/forum/view/off-topic/500000000-signs-you-need-to-practice-your-chess-more

They're much lower than 2985.

This might be the first time one used the word "Cool" with chess.  :-p

My talent leaves no room for manners or pleasantries, only pure raw unadulterated skill

Is that #2986?

2986. You set up the board so that your pawns are behind all you other pieces. You must protect your potential Queens!