1. d4
Some Jokes I Found on Chess.com...
Sort:
Lol
What do you call it when a corvid knocks over his water bowl?
A rook blunder
Sorry that's the best I can do
A chess master died—after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was the master!
"What's it like where you are now?" the friend asked.
"What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news?"
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, it's really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time. Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they're all here, and you can play them."
"Fantastic!" the friend said, "and what's the bad news?"
"You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday."
THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE ONE (THE BOTTOM ONE)
Two chess players are playing a correspondence game. White lives at the South Pole, while Black lives at the North Pole. The postal service is slow, and play proceeds at the rate of one move per year.
After 15 years of play, White makes a daring queen sacrifice, the consequences of which are by no means clear.
A year later, as he sees the postman returning, he is very excited. He feels his heart start racing, as many questions cross his mind: "Will Black take my queen? Is the sacrifice sound?"
He opens up the envelope with the reply and reads:
"J'adoube." (it means I adjust)
A guy comes across an old friend sitting alone at a restaurant table and lost in thought. After a few minutes of talking, his friend said, "My girlfriend told me that if I take part in this chess tournament, then that's the last straw—she's leaving."
Concerned, the guy asked, "So what are you gonna do?"
"Well, 1.d4, of course!"