the never ending chess story

Then Santa nuked the pieces again. The brothers high-fived each other.

It was so bright that everybody went blind...

And thus the Claus siblings blew each other up.

And so, in the fullness of time, a reindeer became the ruler of the known Universe.

Unfortunately, it was that glow-in-the-dark idiot Rudolph (which definitely serves to explain a few things).

Rudolph turned totally calm after he saw a beautiful lady behind him, only now he realized he had been a fool, he beat his own red nose it became more and more red,red,red,red and still red,red,red,red, and still red.

The beautiful lady was not impressed.

So, she ran out calling her father not knowing that the red nose man already killed him.

She discovered her father's body lying in a pool of blood. Horrified, she backed away and fled swiftly. As she ran through the woods, she stumbled and fell. She looked up and saw a horse . . .

the horse said, "c'mon hurry up"

So she climbed on it's back. The horse galloped away, carrying her to . . .

a far far land where all the grasses were blue, flowers were melow where in the middle was a small pond where the horse told her to catch the goldfish swimming

She said, No. She would rather go to the nearest Species Transformation Station, one that accepted MasterCard. It was a Saturday, so there was a line of those transforming their species so, the horse...

She kicked off her shoes and jumped into the pond. She kept trying to grab the goldfish, but time after time it slipped through her fingers. Then she gave up.

She was experienceing alternate universes simultaneously. Suddenly she realized that string theory was true. And then . . .

The goldfish asked to accompany them. The goldfish, known as "Goldie" explained, it was more properly known as "Silly String Theory."

Thats when they all fell into a white hole and teleported back to Earth...

...126 years in the past. 

Then she know that it is already halloween..