(Starting from 12...Rc8 ) .
12...Rc8 dont seems bad actually.
Point of 12...Ng4 13.h3 Nh6 is white lose some tempos due to knight on g5 . After 14. Ne4 f5 , black can use their center and pieces to organize an attack, probably on kingside. 14.h4?! Seems bad in spite of 14...Ng4 , followed by h6 and f5 (pawn on h4 is target , too )
After 12...Rc8 13.Nc3, the reason Ng4 being better is it conserve pieces on the board. White more or less is forced to play Nge4 , and now f5 is playable w/o exchanging knights. (It is important because black has some attack chances on kingside and white has some space problems)
16...Rc6 and 18...Re6 had same idea: Rg6 . In 18...Re6 , Rg6 is already a threat , though white is probably already better . 16... Rc6 if black can play Rg6 attack gives a great iniative: h3 is en prise, Bc6 is a threat , not enough defenders etc etc. For example, let's look what happens after 16...Rc6 17.Qxe5 (no mark because I didnt analyzed it yet, though It seems bad on first glance )
17...Rg6 18.Kh1 (18.Qe3 lose after 18...Qa8 19.f3 Bxh3 20.Qf2 Rxg2) Bc6 19.f3 Bd6 and qg5-qf4's are coming , I am unsure about final evaluation of that position though black definitely have more than actuel game.
I think your main mistake was approaching that position like Benki gambit , or any other variation that black only lose 1 pawn . At there , if black have some pressure and iniative , or some positional advantages, it could be enough to keep balance. But you were 2 pawn behind, and need to be more ambitious, you know that iniative would be enough to keep balance by heart, and you should have search of ways to show them instead being satisfied with small positional advantages.
EDIT:typo fixed.
This was a correspondence game I played (I don't use opening databases, or analysis boards. I prefer to test my calculation ability and simulate OTB games if possible). I was Black and I felt a bit clueless at at few points in the game. Where could I improve and where did Black's play go? I didn't feel I had enough compensation for my material deficit. Any analysis, or thoughts, would be appreciated