Yet another one: "YESSSSHHHH! I WON!!". It's a board game and someone looked at a piece of plastic wrong for a split second. If you get your rocks off on that, you need help.
What's equally if not more disturbing is your excitably insatiable reaction to his singularly less excited choice to casually post the game - blunder and all. Why you immediately presume that he very likely got or gets unduly aroused over a mere chess game he posted is rather an orgiastically caprice conclusion. It makes little sense that after he won, that he would move towards melancholia or embrace slapdash self-loathing. This whole business of him getting his rocks off on a pressed piece of cardboard is both random and meaningless. He may well collect rocks or even have a metal detector but I don't want you to begin to loosely associate metal detectors and other collectibles with chess or basements or sonship.
This post should be locked
A chess.com staff person messaged me and wanted to secure or as you say, lock, this post so as to memorialise the chicanery and chessmanship to help future GM and IM that will surely desire to study these almost unbelievably peculiar matches. So, your desire to enshrine and revere this post came to pass. Maybe the staff saw your request. Either way, it worked out for all parties included.