I don't get it. It doesn't seem like you really did any analysis at all. Just a couple points where you say "hey, look at these next moves".
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Heres a game I analyseid of 2 IM level computers Please tell me what I need to work on to improve my analysis so I can start looking over master game's or If I did good enough for considering what they were planning and overall analysis of the game.
I can't rember the white engines name right off hand but it should be listed somewhere on superchessengine.com