Chess Koans

I am the best chess player ever, prove me wrong

Om mani padme hum.

You are late!

We pronounce the 'G'!!

A chess student went to his teacher and said earnestly, "I am devoted to studying your chess system. How long will it take me to master it." The teacher's reply was casual, "Ten years." Impatiently, the student answered, "But I want to master it faster than that. I will work very hard. I will practice everyday, ten or more hours a day if I have to. How long will it take then?" The teacher thought for a moment, "20 years"

The pilgrim travelled long and came to the place of the great master Dan Heis Man. And he said to the great master, "Oh great master Dan how may I attain to the dizzy heights of masterdom"? And the great master replied, "Oh pilgrim you must travel yet farther in your quest. Take your bowl and your staff and seek the Dan Heis Man learning centre. There, if you are worthy, will you attain the knowledge that you seek.

But many are the snairs that await the seeker after knowledge. As the pilgrim travelled he came to an Inn. And in that Inn were persons playing bridge. And the seeker after masterdom did try this "bridge" and found it good. Yet further on the road the pilgrim came upon a tea house and in the tea house were persons playing go. And the seeker partook of the tea and of the go and lo he became most mightily confused. Finally, after the pilgrim managed to shake himself free from the tentacles of tea and go, he came upon an internet cafe where persons were logged in to PokerStars and lo the pilgrim took his free five dollars and embarked upon the game of poker. When last seen the pilgrim was wearing a green eye shade and sitting at the final table of the World Series.

Has the pilgrim attained the heights of masterdom? Sadly no, in fact his rating has never been lower.

So pilgrim, if you would attain to true enlightenment hearken not to the houri cries of lesser games; rather purify thy spirit at the great learning centre and after surprisingly few lifetimes mastery will descend upon thee.

a grasshopper preplexed by a chess position asked his master what to do

the Master said, when you cheat you are already a loser

the grasshopper went back to his opponent and resigned

Whenever anyone asked him about chess, the great master Kang would quietly raise one finger into the air. A boy in the village began to imitate this behavior. Whenever he heard people talking about Kang's teachings, he would interrupt the discussion and raise his finger. Kang heard about the boy's mischief. When he saw him in the street, he seized him and cut off his finger. The boy cried and began to run off, but Kang called out to him. When the boy turned to look, Kang raised his finger into the air. At that moment the boy became enlightened.

A blind person and a deaf person are playing chess. The blind person explains to the deaf person what he can see. How?

A chess student approached his teacher with a question. "I'd like to improve my knowledge of mind games. In addition to learning from you, I'd like to study go with another teacher. What do you think of this idea?" The master replied "The hunter who chases two rabbits, catches neither one."

Pawns are the soul of chess...or vice versa.

The more you pay, the more it's worth.

Whether or not you think you will succeed, you are right.

Material can be immaterial.

As the King can go to the Castle, the Castle must go to the King.

The Queen became jealous cos the Castle was being romanticised.

*what is a 'koan' ?? *

Funny mouse 

Thanks. 

If a king falls on a chessboard and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound ?