Life seems so much simpler since I had my epiphany. I realise now that GOD only started telling me my moves since I cut down my sleep-time to 2 hours a night to maximise my Chess.com time. A life-changing revelation - GOD only exists in the imaginative depths of the human mind. I may have developed a life depriving, job-wrecking, marriage ending, child neglecting chess addiction but I have seen the light. Thank you Chess.com I know now that in the inevitable near future when I neglect food, drink and all basic sustenance to max out to full-on 24/7 Chess.com my starving chess-addicted body will be buried and just rot in the ground. What a blessed relief. A great weight off my mind.
Divine Intervention
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Mar 3, 2009
0
#63
not unless someone put a chessboard and 32 chess piecesin your coffin to take with you to the afterlife wether its heaven,valhala,nirvana or hell you'll have a chess board
Mar 3, 2009
0
#64
My rating just went over 1700. There is proof enough that God does intervene.
I sincerely submit that God exists and loves the human race. This forum is a waste of time and i shall cease to track it
There was another identical thread to this just now..... it seems to have gone, I presumed deleted.
This one seems a little more heated, yet it stays while the other thread had no offensive remarks in it, it is actually possible for some people to believe in god and also believe in humour ...
The other thread was plagiarism and was reported and (I presume) removed.
Beast719 wrote:
The other thread was plagiarism and was reported and (I presume) removed.
Ah yes,Now I understand.
ranama wrote:
I like american humour.
Great.
actually i am chinese XD
just living in australia for a while
You have clearly been praying to the wrong deity. Biblically, the God that Christians believe in has throughout history led His people to do irrational things. If you are to play as a rational player, you need to come into contact with whom I will call " Morphy's God" after the first known person to ever be able to make full contact with this deity.
Here is how its done. First set up all your pieces in their home position. Then, get onto Amazon, and order Irving Chernev's "1000 best short games of chess". There are 25 gems by Morphey himself in that book, as well as a bunch from steinitz, capa, Alekhine, Reti, etc.
Then, type out, say 30 games ( 25 morphy and 5 others. Make sure you include everything morphy in this list) into algebraic notation. You will need your board for this, as it is in descriptive.
Now, MEMORIZE the games. This is NOT for the openings, but for the incredible tactical skill that Morphy's God had bestowed onto this truly unfortunate gentleman. Go through the list 5 or 6 times, or until you can play all 25 Morphy games without looking.
Now when you are in middlegame ( not the opening, because openings were lousy during that time) simply ask your self WWMD ? ( What Would Morphy Do), and then make a strategic plan revolving around his thunderbolt style tactics.
At this point, the God of Morphy should be able to beat the crap out of your so called god, and inspire your game to a wonderful level of play surpassing anything youve ever done before.
Wow, this sounds like such a good idea, I just might try it myself. I already have the book.
You are being tested by the devil and unlike Job, you have no patience. No matter what opening or defense the devil threw at Job he kept his faith. Job lost everything. Finally in the end, Job was rewarded 20 fold for keeping his faith. You my friend, are not thinking like Job. The devil is tryng to get you to turn away. But However, you can regain the favor of god by being patient, as I am. I know that one day my 1100 will be returned to me with increase even more than I can hope to imagine. Patience my son. Patience.
forkU wrote:
You are being tested by the devil and unlike Job, you have no patience. No matter what opening or defense the devil threw at Job he kept his faith. Job lost everything. Finally in the end, Job was rewarded 20 fold for keeping his faith. You my friend, are not thinking like Job. The devil is tryng to get you to turn away. But However, you can regain the favor of god by being patient, as I am. I know that one day my 1100 will be returned to me with increase even more than I can hope to imagine. Patience my son. Patience.
Confused. Was Job that one that got stuck in the whale? Or was he the one that fed the big crowd with a couple of haddock and a french stick. It does get difficult to tell all these ridiculous stories apart sometimes. My favourite one is the oddest - when that man gets stuck in the cave and then he gets out and finds all those chocolate eggs by the rabbits. God only knows what that all that was supposed to be about. No wonder no-one really follows it anymore when the films are so much more believable. I love Mission Impossible.
RainbowRising wrote:
sarkinaiki wrote:
TrainingForNM wrote:
RainbowRising wrote:
Christians play only with the knights,
Muslims cant have queens - they are covered in sheets and cant see where they are going.
Buddists offer a draw each game. Failing that, they lose on time and don't make a single move.
Jews never sacrifice anything, even if it will win them the game.
Athiests play without bishops
Agnostics play blindfolded.
Darwin never promotes to a pawn to a knight, even if its checkmate. He believes in evolution going fowards, not backwards.
"Darwin never promotes to a pawn to a knight, even if its checkmate. He believes in evolution going fowards, not backwards."
No, Darwin was very particular on the point that there are no 'higher' or 'lower' organisms. Darwin did not even *use* the word evolution until in the 6th edition of the Origin Of Species. By then *other* 'Darwinists' had so engrained the term in the minds of the general public that it was out of his hands.
Read all of Richard Dawkins's non-technical books: read John Maynard Smith, et al... if you have a background in biology of couse - read the technical literature and check.
But this is a question about the history of science - so the answer more easy to find in literature on history of science ... Darwin's books and correspondence are the primary source...
normajeanyates wrote:
RainbowRising wrote:
sarkinaiki wrote:
TrainingForNM wrote:
RainbowRising wrote:
Christians play only with the knights,
Muslims cant have queens - they are covered in sheets and cant see where they are going.
Buddists offer a draw each game. Failing that, they lose on time and don't make a single move.
Jews never sacrifice anything, even if it will win them the game.
Athiests play without bishops
Agnostics play blindfolded.
Darwin never promotes to a pawn to a knight, even if its checkmate. He believes in evolution going fowards, not backwards.
"Darwin never promotes to a pawn to a knight, even if its checkmate. He believes in evolution going fowards, not backwards."
No, Darwin was very particular on the point that there are no 'higher' or 'lower' organisms. Darwin did not even *use* the word evolution until in the 6th edition of the Origin Of Species. By then *other* 'Darwinists' had so engrained the term in the minds of the general public that it was out of his hands.
Read all of Richard Dawkins's non-technical books: read John Maynard Smith, et al... if you have a background in biology of couse - read the technical literature and check.
But this is a question about the history of science - so the answer more easy to find in literature on history of science ... Darwin's books and correspondence are the primary source...
Jokes are far funnier when you over-analyse them.
"Jokes are far funnier when you over-analyse them."Beelzebub666
jokes are funniest when on drugs.... so is religion though too...and chess...and sex and driving and watching movies wow everything is funnier when on drugs! to bad theyre not good for you... and illegal...huh...im glad i quit those things! just to recap drugs are bad, jokes are best when overanalysed, and the devil is testing your faith by giving you bad chess advice...life makes sense now
To be honest, not much. I don't make it a point to go through four pages of postingon a single topic.