Drugs in Chess

I been banned from enough tournaments now to know that the intentional drugging of opponents to gain an advantage is frowned upon in chess circles.

However it got me to thinking are you allowed to actually take performance enhancing drugs to improve your own game?

Are there random drug tests for the top players?  I can't ever remember reading about Kasparov having to go away after a victory to micturite into a bottle.  I've checked on Ebay and I can't buy it so it can't ever have happened.

As a former amateur veterinarian (I used to euthanase pets for a hobby, but THEY closed me down.  Apparently in the UK you need a licence.

And the owner’s permission) I have access to and take a keen interest in performance enhancing pharmaceuticals.  Like all great scientists I have been using myself as a guinea pig and have played my first 100 games on Chess.com under the influence of a variety of drugs in a carefully controlled scientific experiment.

As a control I played my first 10 games “clean”.  I lost 8 and won 2.

The next 10 I used alcohol (A 30 year old Glenfiddich).  I lost 6 and won 4.

And so I went on with:

Temazepam (W1:L9) – can’t really remember these games.

Dexedrine (W7:L3)

Mescaline (W6:L4)

MDMA (W5:L5)

Rohypnol (W2:L8) – won 2 on time

Drontal Plus (W3:L7)

Teramycin (W4:L6)

Vaginon (W1:L9) – these tasted truly awful and really took some swallowing.

So even from this short study it appears that Dexedrine is the one to go for.  I wonder if Kasparov used to take this?  Unfortunately under all doping regimens I was unable to counter the Sicilian.

Does anyone know what I should take to beat this diabolical opening?

From time to time I have played on Benedryl.  It makes me tired

and stupid.  I am 0-4.

Their are drug tests in the higher tourneys but I have no idea what sort of drug would make you better at chess. Surely you would be completely off your face for the entire game.

For my medical exams I revised solidly for months. I turned up on the prescribed day and they didn't even ask me any questions apart from.  "Are you wearing any metal?"  which I hadn't revised for.  Then they stuck me in an MRI scanner and told me I had cancer.  I never found out if I had passed or not.

There are drugs to boost your brain performance, and I guess that could help you winning... lol

Wise words  I hadn't even thought of Viagra.  I should be able to keep going all night on that.

Which cheese gives the best dreams?

use viagra,,, you might lose 7x on the board but you will win 7x off the board!

Fumunda?  As an etymological scholar I struggled to find the Latin or Greek root until I consulted Grey's Victorian usage and came upon a definition from 1650:-

Getleman's wash: to manhandle one's man-handle in the butler's sink to remove claggage fumunda Biffen's bridge prior to a directly imminent liaison dangereux with the domestic staff.

Try a 70-30 mix of mescaline and rittalin, with massive doses of sublingual B-12 every 45 minutes to beat the sicilian.

Only users lose drugs...errr something like that

maybe it is spelled fromunda

dude all i know is im a chess addict and a pothead and i love playing chess stoned. i wouldnt say im better, its harder to focus, but i can still play to probably the best of my abilities, and it certainly makes it more fun :)

i read in some book that during the 70s russians actually took performance enhancing drugs.

Have you tried adderall?

Haha I use adderall cause i have ADHD.

Yeahh.....I think it helps a little lol.

Drugs can be " good " for many things  , I'am sure also for chess .  Since they can be an advantage  they should be banned in all sports incl. chess .

i think crystal meth would definitely improve your focus in a game of chess, although it would ruin the rest of your life . but i would ve loved to play chess on LSD .

where can I buy it ?

I need it, please give me chess drugs

I take percocets, it helps me dealing with losing,    really....