"A degree in Nuclear Physics gets you nowhere in Chess. So stop wasting your goddamn time."
Chess tricks
Make a move with your hand, while your elbow covertly moves another piece.
Example, reach to far left of board with your right hand. Use your elbow to shift a piece a square or two. This can help attack and defend.
Lean forward over the board for a better effect. They'll be less likely to notice what you're doing.
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Like in this d4 d5 c4 e6 nc3 nf6 bg5 nbd7 cxd4 exd4 nxd4? Nxd4! Bxd8 bb5+! Qd7 and you won a knight