I have offically given up on life.

Then go for it, all the way, and don't harm too much on that way. Truth always wins at the end. Result= intelligence x effort x strategy.
Strange, that I should mention him!; But, I imagine that the 'late-great'{?} "Sigmund Freud" might've added; Good luck!; But, unless you're, at least modestly independently wealthy; Between that factor; And Not coming-to-terms, with your own God-given 'sexuality'; The odds, would seem to be against you; As a viable lifestyle. Of which, the latter mentioned area; Could lead, to 'blindness' {lol}, and-or psychological instabilities; Of which there's Always the potential of; Even if you were improbably immune to that! 0:
This is quite literally the mindset you need to become good at chess. Look at Fischer, look at Carlsen. It's not the only mindset that will get you there but that kind of ambition and drive is a great start.

This is quite literally the mindset you need to become good at chess. Look at Fischer, look at Carlsen. It's not the only mindset that will get you there but that kind of ambition and drive is a great start.
Fischer is not an example of how you want to pursue chess.
Carlsen has other interests like modeling, and promoting chess.
Obsession is different from ambition, and drive.

Hi I have officially given up on life. I no longer want to get married or get a job. I also never want to go to school again. Chess is my only interest so I must play and study chess 24/7.
Are you enjoying it? You don't sound like you're enjoying it.

quit school
quit knowledge
quit eating
quit feeling
quit life...
quit chess...
PURSUE POSITIVE VIBES!!
Hi I have officially given up on life. I no longer want to get married or get a job. I also never want to go to school again. Chess is my only interest so I must play and study chess 24/7.